Who else? <3mindset ?

If you could wave a magic wand…

What kind of world would you want to live in?

Change-makers Tammy Tibbetts & Christen Brandt dream of a world where every girl is educated, respected, and heard. A world where women are able to create change. A world where girls everywhere are safe and loved.

For 11 years, they’ve worked toward that vision, leading social change through She’s the First — a non-profit I’ve supported since 2014 alongside Michelle Obama, the United Nations, Diane von Fürstenberg, and more than 200 campus chapters worldwide.

She’s the First finds, funds, and supports local organizations to educate and empower girls, so one day we can live in a world where every girl can choose her own future.


“No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.” @shesthefirst
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After more than a decade leading the way, Tammy and Christen know what it takes to create positive lasting change and that everyone’s contribution matters. They’re on MarieTV today debuting their new book, Impact: A Step-By-Step Plan to Create the World You Want to Live In.

If you know you’re meant to make a difference but aren’t sure how, this conversation is a must-watch.

You’ll learn:

  • Three reasons well-meaning people get stuck.
  • How to discover your own special gift.
  • A visualization exercise to uncover your calling.
  • How being voted “most shy” in high school inspired a global movement.
  • How to hold healthy boundaries without becoming defensive.
  • What to say when someone “shoulds” on you.
  • The difference between a Band-Aid and a long-term fix — and why we need both.
  • Why good intentions aren’t enough.
  • The critical difference between helping, fixing, and serving.
  • Why 2020 is our “masterclass in resilience.”

Tammy and Christen walk their talk and will inspire you to make the difference you were born to make.

But don’t worry — they won’t tell you to find the perfect cause, donate all your money to charity, or volunteer every night and weekend.

As Tammy says, “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.”

Hit play to watch now or listen on The Marie Forleo Podcast to find YOUR something.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Learn more from Tammy Tibbetts of She’s the First on how educating girls changes the world and then finally find your calling with Rha Goddess.

Feeling inspired? Profound change only happens when we turn our inspiration into action. In the comments below, let us know your biggest insight and how you plan to act on it now.

If you’re not quite clear on your vision of the world, try this exercise to discover what Christen and Tammy call your “North Star.” It’s one of my favorite chapters in the book, which goes deep into uncovering your personal experiences and how they’re connected to the change you want to create in the world. 

Close your eyes and think about the world you want to see in 10 years. Then 20 years. What kind of world would you hope to see 100 years from now? See it vividly like a movie in your mind.

Now on a piece of paper, write down your answers to these two questions:

  • Describe in detail your vision of the world you’d like to see in 20 years.
  • What are the biggest differences between your vision and the world we’re living in right now?

Your path of impact lives in the gap between the world you want to see and the world you live in now.

Use that clear vision as your goal, but don’t be overwhelmed. Progress happens one tiny step at a time.

As Tammy says, “If you have a setback, don’t feel discouraged. This is a long game, and it will take a lifetime. You’re building a legacy.”

XO

The post How to Maximize Your Impact with the Founders of She’s the First appeared first on .

Valuable Post !

By Leo Babauta

In the last 6 months, my team and I have been working to support a group of fearless leaders in our Fearless Mastery mastermind program.

And they have been breathtaking.

We’ve gone deep with them, they’ve created personal transformation and huge accomplishments with what they’re doing with their mission in the world. And it has been really awe-inspiring to behold.

I asked them to share their biggest lesson from working together, as we open enrollment for the 2nd round of Fearless Mastery … and here’s what they shared:

  1. Joy can be found in the midst of fear: “I discovered fear was preventing me from finding joy in my life right now. I was afraid to enjoy today’s life.  Discovering joy in my life today brings me sustainable energy to achieve these bigger goals.” — Erik Schneider, creator of Cubicle Monks.
  2. Surround yourself with people committed to the work: “Who you surround yourself with matters because it defines what’s normal for you.  When you’re around people who are committed to doing the work and embracing uncertainty, it feels a lot safer to do things that scare you.” — Aili Kuutan, creator of PureLightPodcast.com
  3. See possibility & be willing to be supported: “Become clear on the possibility of the next phase of your life, cultivate a willingness to be supported and then make a series of bold asks with conviction and a tender heart.” — Suraj Shah, coach, Live With Loss
  4. Broaden your comfort zone beyond what you believe is possible: “The edges of my comfort zone have broadened.  My ideas of possibility, for myself and for the world, have expanded in a way that I don’t believe would have been possible on my own.  I have come to understand, on a much deeper level, that it is possible to step into new ways of being and create profound shifts in how I experience life.” — Amanda Goddard
  5. Transformation takes consistent work: “Long-lasting transformation comes with the deep and consistent work that we do in Fearless Mastery.  The retreat was the pivotal point where the concepts and practices finally sunk in.  I now know what it means to answer the question, ‘How do you want to show up for your work.’  I use my practices daily and continue to receive the great gifts of these positive changes.” — Leslie Lynch, the Caregiver Coach
  6. Create by moving out of limiting behaviors: “I had no idea what to really expect of this program. I only knew that deep inside me, there was a voice telling me to do it and join. The mastermind showed me that there is a way out of limiting behaviors to build what we always dreamed of! This program and the incredible people helped me create the foundation to conquer bigger, more meaningful challenges in my life going forward!” — Christoph Weisbrod, founder of Roots Connect outdoor nature adventures
  7. Recognize patterns in our responses, & let go: “The biggest lesson I learned in Fearless Mastery was to increase my ability to recognize my patterns of response to situations, look for their root cause, and let go of those that no longer serve me, in order to develop deeper relationships with others and experience life to the fullest. Along the way, I was able to accomplish a major life change that I had been unable to complete in the 3 years prior to joining the program, and establish significant relationships with others in a group where I am acknowledged, understood, and challenged. The biggest gift I have received through the Fearless Mastery program is that I found myself.” — Ann Byard, optometry business owner
  8. Our walls are imaginary: “We build our own imaginary walls. Co-inspiration is super powerful. And my new favorite piece of perennial wisdom: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” — Ville Salmensuu, creator of a project to buy an island in central Helsinki, for a center for mindfulness and wellbeing
  9. “I didn’t really know what I was getting into when I joined Fearless Mastery. I just knew that COVID had dramatically disrupted my business and my life, and I needed support for whatever came next. I found a dynamic group of peers who were all committed to doing great things – whatever that meant for them. And Leo led us through a process of clarifying our ambitions, and creating a container where we could begin to realize them. Along the way I learned how to identify and defuse patterns that had held me back for years.
  10. Speak your voice clearly in service of your mission: “In the Fearless Masters program, my personal mission became crystal-clear: to join the fight against climate change with my full voice and all my experience with accelerating innovation for corporate R & D teams. I learned that I didn’t have to earn or tiptoe my way into this space — I could use my voice to claim this space and hold it, speaking clearly, honestly and directly to my audience.  The tangible result: the Accelerate Net Zero podcast to build a library of stories and examples of how we can accelerate solutions to climate change: — Katherine Radeka, creator of Accelerate Net Zero
  11. Embody freedom: “I joined Fearless Mastery to plant the seeds that will grow a forest of change. I learned how to create powerful shifts in the world and prioritize the essential work of caring for my whole being. I dove deeper into the stories that hold me back and began to unhook them one by one. I embodied, for a moment, what it feels like to be completely free.” Brittany Kamai, PhD, Astrophysicist
  12. Feel alive by getting in touch with your gifts: “I have become more aware of my inner gifts and feel so alive with great joy whenever, wherever and with whomever I share these gifts. Call me a Warrior. Call me Fearless. Call me queenD.” — Diane Tuscher-Ancede, creator of joy and an upcoming musical
  13. Pause & check into your heart: “My 2 big lessons during these 6 months were that I can always start something, even if its for 5 mins and then I have to stop again, that’s fine. I have let go of the fear of losing my flow to be able to do something for a sustained period of hours. Previously I would procrastinate on so many things because I would either think I don’t have enough time to do something or I can’t stop something because I will lose my flow. The other is that, even if I feel I know what is the right/logical thing to do or respond, I still wait and stop, try to go into my heart and give myself time to see if there are new possibilities open for me, if there is a belief system that I can question if, there is an old pattern of behaviour that I can recognize and let go of.” — Davor Tomic, film creator
  14. We can surprise ourselves when we let go of our protection mechanisms: I’ve been training people in letting go of the things we do to protect ourselves (procrastination, complaining, hiding, etc.) and I’m constantly shocked by how much is possible once we start to let go of that. The leaders in this mastermind never stopped amazing me. — Leo Babauta

I’m so grateful for the incredible people who dove deep into their purpose in life and created amazing things, supported each other, and shared their hearts.

Join us for Fearless Mastery round 2! We’ll support you in your mission and growth. Step into your life.

loving the fanpage

By Leo Babauta

In the last 6 months, my team and I have been working to support a group of fearless leaders in our Fearless Mastery mastermind program.

And they have been breathtaking.

We’ve gone deep with them, they’ve created personal transformation and huge accomplishments with what they’re doing with their mission in the world. And it has been really awe-inspiring to behold.

I asked them to share their biggest lesson from working together, as we open enrollment for the 2nd round of Fearless Mastery … and here’s what they shared:

  1. Joy can be found in the midst of fear: “I discovered fear was preventing me from finding joy in my life right now. I was afraid to enjoy today’s life.  Discovering joy in my life today brings me sustainable energy to achieve these bigger goals.” — Erik Schneider, creator of Cubicle Monks.
  2. Surround yourself with people committed to the work: “Who you surround yourself with matters because it defines what’s normal for you.  When you’re around people who are committed to doing the work and embracing uncertainty, it feels a lot safer to do things that scare you.” — Aili Kuutan, creator of PureLightPodcast.com
  3. See possibility & be willing to be supported: “Become clear on the possibility of the next phase of your life, cultivate a willingness to be supported and then make a series of bold asks with conviction and a tender heart.” — Suraj Shah, coach, Live With Loss
  4. Broaden your comfort zone beyond what you believe is possible: “The edges of my comfort zone have broadened.  My ideas of possibility, for myself and for the world, have expanded in a way that I don’t believe would have been possible on my own.  I have come to understand, on a much deeper level, that it is possible to step into new ways of being and create profound shifts in how I experience life.” — Amanda Goddard
  5. Transformation takes consistent work: “Long-lasting transformation comes with the deep and consistent work that we do in Fearless Mastery.  The retreat was the pivotal point where the concepts and practices finally sunk in.  I now know what it means to answer the question, ‘How do you want to show up for your work.’  I use my practices daily and continue to receive the great gifts of these positive changes.” — Leslie Lynch, the Caregiver Coach
  6. Create by moving out of limiting behaviors: “I had no idea what to really expect of this program. I only knew that deep inside me, there was a voice telling me to do it and join. The mastermind showed me that there is a way out of limiting behaviors to build what we always dreamed of! This program and the incredible people helped me create the foundation to conquer bigger, more meaningful challenges in my life going forward!” — Christoph Weisbrod, founder of Roots Connect outdoor nature adventures
  7. Recognize patterns in our responses, & let go: “The biggest lesson I learned in Fearless Mastery was to increase my ability to recognize my patterns of response to situations, look for their root cause, and let go of those that no longer serve me, in order to develop deeper relationships with others and experience life to the fullest. Along the way, I was able to accomplish a major life change that I had been unable to complete in the 3 years prior to joining the program, and establish significant relationships with others in a group where I am acknowledged, understood, and challenged. The biggest gift I have received through the Fearless Mastery program is that I found myself.” — Ann Byard, optometry business owner
  8. Our walls are imaginary: “We build our own imaginary walls. Co-inspiration is super powerful. And my new favorite piece of perennial wisdom: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” — Ville Salmensuu, creator of a project to buy an island in central Helsinki, for a center for mindfulness and wellbeing
  9. “I didn’t really know what I was getting into when I joined Fearless Mastery. I just knew that COVID had dramatically disrupted my business and my life, and I needed support for whatever came next. I found a dynamic group of peers who were all committed to doing great things – whatever that meant for them. And Leo led us through a process of clarifying our ambitions, and creating a container where we could begin to realize them. Along the way I learned how to identify and defuse patterns that had held me back for years.
  10. Speak your voice clearly in service of your mission: “In the Fearless Masters program, my personal mission became crystal-clear: to join the fight against climate change with my full voice and all my experience with accelerating innovation for corporate R & D teams. I learned that I didn’t have to earn or tiptoe my way into this space — I could use my voice to claim this space and hold it, speaking clearly, honestly and directly to my audience.  The tangible result: the Accelerate Net Zero podcast to build a library of stories and examples of how we can accelerate solutions to climate change: — Katherine Radeka, creator of Accelerate Net Zero
  11. Embody freedom: “I joined Fearless Mastery to plant the seeds that will grow a forest of change. I learned how to create powerful shifts in the world and prioritize the essential work of caring for my whole being. I dove deeper into the stories that hold me back and began to unhook them one by one. I embodied, for a moment, what it feels like to be completely free.” Brittany Kamai, PhD, Astrophysicist
  12. Feel alive by getting in touch with your gifts: “I have become more aware of my inner gifts and feel so alive with great joy whenever, wherever and with whomever I share these gifts. Call me a Warrior. Call me Fearless. Call me queenD.” — Diane Tuscher-Ancede, creator of joy and an upcoming musical
  13. Pause & check into your heart: “My 2 big lessons during these 6 months were that I can always start something, even if its for 5 mins and then I have to stop again, that’s fine. I have let go of the fear of losing my flow to be able to do something for a sustained period of hours. Previously I would procrastinate on so many things because I would either think I don’t have enough time to do something or I can’t stop something because I will lose my flow. The other is that, even if I feel I know what is the right/logical thing to do or respond, I still wait and stop, try to go into my heart and give myself time to see if there are new possibilities open for me, if there is a belief system that I can question if, there is an old pattern of behaviour that I can recognize and let go of.” — Davor Tomic, film creator
  14. We can surprise ourselves when we let go of our protection mechanisms: I’ve been training people in letting go of the things we do to protect ourselves (procrastination, complaining, hiding, etc.) and I’m constantly shocked by how much is possible once we start to let go of that. The leaders in this mastermind never stopped amazing me. — Leo Babauta

I’m so grateful for the incredible people who dove deep into their purpose in life and created amazing things, supported each other, and shared their hearts.

Join us for Fearless Mastery round 2! We’ll support you in your mission and growth. Step into your life.

Thanks for the post big method fan here

Note: This was originally written for my weekly newsletter. You can sign up for it here

Welcome to another Mindf*ck Monday, the only weekly newsletter where the ideas are as good as the jokes are bad. Each week, I send you three potentially life-changing ideas to help you be a slightly less awful human being. This week, we’re talking three popular ways to “get better” — 1) therapy, 2) journaling, and 3) meditation—and why I believe they’re all actually kinda the same thing.

Let’s get into it.

Therapy

Why does Talking to Someone About Our Problems Make Us Feel Better? 

Therapy, as a whole, has a great and reliable track record as a tool to help people. Most people who stick with therapy for more than a few months, reliably increase well-being and show fewer symptoms of anxiety/depression. What’s more, the longer people stick with therapy, the greater they tend to  benefit. The research is overwhelmingly in therapy’s favor. It works. It helps people.

But… here’s the plot twist: we still don’t really know why it works

Psychology has produced as many forms of therapy as Adam Sandler has cheesy rom-com movies. The field is an alphabet soup of modalities. You’ve got CBT, AEDP, DBT, IPT, ACT, CPP, SFBT and REBT. You’ve got gestalt, existential, schema, Jungian, interpersonal, Rogerian, humanistic, regression, psychoanalysis, and, of course, everyone’s favorite, family therapy.

Each of these modalities offers a unique framework and its own philosophy. Each one constructs a unique view of the human mind and creates its own approach to attacking pathology and mental illness.

Man on the couch - therapy

With so many approaches to therapy, a few decades ago, researchers rightly became curious about which therapies were the most effective, which ones worked. So they ran hundreds of experiments to measure which therapies produced the best results. And the answer will probably surprise you.

All of them did.

All of them work, to some extent. Pretty much every modality produces, on average, relatively similar results. All of them work decently but not perfectly. Some may work slightly better for certain problems than others (i.e., CBT seems to be marginally better for anxiety). But on the whole, just the fact you’re doing therapy has way, way, way more impact than the type you choose to do.

This is kind of stunning. Because it suggests that for all of the theorizing and frameworking over the last 150 years, from Sigmund Freud to Dr. Phil, the content of the therapy itself isn’t that important. In fact, dozens of studies have struggled to find much measurable benefit to the therapist’s training or credentials. Many studies show that people benefit speaking to amateurs just as much as they do professionals. So, not only does the modality seem to not matter, but the therapist’s credentials don’t even seem to matter that much either.

What’s important is simply getting a person in a room regularly to talk about their problems to another human being who is thoughtful and listens well. That’s the 1% that drives 99% of the results. The value of therapy isn’t the therapy. It’s the context. It’s the environment. You’re paying to have a place to go where you can sort out your shit in front of someone trustworthy and not be judged for it. Everything else—the fancy acronyms and degrees and frameworks—seems to merely be an excuse to get you into that room and into that social context.

Journaling

Why does Writing Down All Our Crazy Thoughts Make Us Feel Better?

So, if most of the value of therapy is merely getting into a room and critically discussing your own thoughts, ideas, and emotions, couldn’t we reproduce that in other ways? Couldn’t you simply call up a trusted friend and do that?

Sure, many people do. But there’s another way that maybe isn’t so obvious.

Journaling.

For most of human history, journaling was not something you did for mental health or self-care, it was simply something any educated person did to help themselves think. Benjamin Franklin, Charles Darwin, Leonardo Da Vinci, Marie Curie, and Winston Churchill were just a few of history’s avid journalers.

It wasn’t until the 1960s and 70s that psychologists considered the idea that journaling may offer therapeutic benefits. Many started to experiment with the practice with their patients. The research caught up and showed that indeed, journaling is very effective at promoting mental health and well-being. Today, many therapists and counselors actively encourage their clients to journal as a supplement to their sessions.

Man journaling under lamp

The mental health benefits of journaling likely mirror the benefits of talk therapy—there is something mysteriously powerful about verbalizing your thoughts and feelings; it somehow causes them to lose their power over you.

But let’s go one layer deeper. Why does verbalizing our thoughts and feelings somehow make them have less of a grip on us? If you’ve read my shit for a long time now, you probably already know what I’m going to say:

I’ve got a theory.

Meditation

Why does Sitting on the Floor and Counting our Breaths Make Us Feel Better?

I remember the first time I meditated, it was this kooky “eastern spiritual” thing that one of my high school teachers thought would be cool to show us. It was the late 90s and back then, meditation was still an exotic novelty, a weird thing reserved for hippies and mystics. No one I knew took it seriously.

Twenty years later, meditation has gone mainstream. It’s now regularly practiced in board rooms, conferences, seminars, prisons, schools, and churches. Meditation apps have taken off and become a multi-billion dollar industry. Today, meditation is not only normal, but it’s hip. It’s something you kinda brag to people about the way people used to brag about going to the gym.

So far we’ve covered that therapy works because you are verbalizing your thoughts and feelings (therefore loosening their grip on you) and receiving non-judgmental feedback from another person. Journaling works in a similar way—it allows you to verbalize your thoughts and feelings to yourself and then respond to them nonjudgmentally.

I would argue that meditation is effective because it does the exact same thing, it just skips the verbalizing.

Woman meditating on deck

The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer wrote that consciousness consists of two parts: the subject and the object. Think of the subject as “the seer” and the object as “the seen.” Both aspects are required in consciousness—there is always something being “seen” and always something doing the “seeing.”

Generally, we are the subject of our consciousness and some external thing is the object. This keyboard I am typing on is currently the object of my consciousness. The food I will have for dinner tonight is the object of my consciousness. The buzzing of my phone is the object of my consciousness.

As long as *I* am the subject and some external thing is the object, then all of my thoughts, feelings, impulses, and desires are bundled up into some intangible subjectivity known as “I” that is not analyzed or considered. This unexamined subject is often referred to as “ego.”

It’s only when we turn our focus on ourselves and make our thoughts and feelings the object of our consciousness that we are able to differentiate them and put them into perspective.

“Oh, I’m feeling sad today and didn’t realize it.” What was once subject (my feeling sad) is now the object of my consciousness, and is thus separated from me. Once separate from me, I can consider my sadness as though it were not me. I can ask why it exists, towards what purpose, is it useful, do I care? This practice of turning one’s subject-base consciousness into the object of one’s consciousness is how self-awareness is formed.

So what do therapy, journaling, and meditation all have in common?

All three are techniques to help us convert what is usually the subject of our consciousness into the object of our consciousness.

That’s it.

They are three tools for building self-awareness and chipping away at the ego. Therapy does this by some thoughtful person inviting us to express our thoughts and feelings. Journaling does this by eliciting us to write about our thoughts and feelings. Meditation does this by teaching us to observe our thoughts and feelings as though they are separate from ourselves.

This is how to get better. To turn the subject into object. To transmute the implicit into the explicit. To shift the internal into external. To move from subjective to objective.

And then, once our thoughts, feelings, and impulses are separated from our “I”—from our ego—we can choose whether we want to keep them and reintegrate them or to simply let them go.

loving the post

Have you ever tried to sit still for five minutes doing absolutely nothing? I think you’ll agree that it’s pretty uncomfortable. Having nothing to do but listen to your own thoughts might feel about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Because we’d rather not subject ourselves to that kind of torture, we rarely give ourselves time to do nothing. Instead, we try to fill every minute of the day, often with insignificant things like scrolling through social media.

Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

When you get into this kind of cycle, it’s hard to let yourself relax at the end of the day. You might feel like you could have accomplished more, even though your day felt ridiculously busy.

If you don’t give yourself time to do nothing, you risk getting burned out. Embracing the art of doing nothing is important if you want more creativity, relaxation, and mindfulness in your life.

In this post, I’m sharing how I’ve shifted my mindset to find a balance between being productive and doing nothing. Plus you’ll get some practical tips to help you make doing nothing part of your routine too (without boredom or guilt).

You don’t have to be productive 24/7


Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

Often we think every moment of the day needs to be productive. In truth, there’s power in allowing yourself to do nothing without any expectations.

The trouble is that learning to be okay with doing nothing is hard. I’ll be the first to admit that I thrive on getting things done, and I love nothing more than a crossed-off checklist. I was working three jobs last year because I wanted to fill my time with productive things.

Even though they were things I enjoyed, it soon became too hard to juggle everything. I never had time to myself, and I felt like I had no creative energy left to give. I eventually realized that life doesn’t have to be FULL to be fulfilling.

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Life doesn’t have to be FULL to be fulfilling.

I think this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially when society tells you to always be busy. You might also expect a lot from yourself and put pressure on yourself to do as much as you can.

When I find myself with nothing to do (or I feel like I should be doing something but I don’t actually have the energy), I tend to feel guilty or like I’m falling behind. It’s easy to beat yourself up for “wasting time”.

The truth is that no one can be productive all the time, nor should you expect yourself to be. The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself in those moments when you’re not being productive.

It’s okay to do less. It’s also okay to do nothing.


Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

Let yourself be in a “float state” sometimes. By float state, I mean letting yourself be still – mentally and physically – without pressuring yourself to do anything.

The reason I love the concept of the “float state” is that the best ideas often come when you’re doing nothing. Have you ever been taking a shower and had a brilliant idea hit you in the face? You can find unexpected creativity in the moments when you’re zoning out, waiting in line, or right before you drift to sleep.

In Italian, dolce far niente means sweet idleness or pleasantly doing nothing. In these moments of sweet idleness, we’re not forcing anything to happen. We’re just responding to what’s around us. We’re giving our thoughts space to breathe without distraction or expectation.

One way I do this is by going for walks without listening to anything. Typically I’d listen to a podcast or music, but listening to nothing (other than the noises of the world) gives me a chance to be more present with my thoughts and ideas. These daily walks are often the times when I come up with new ideas.

In the book Four Seconds, author Peter Bregman writes:

“My best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. When I’m running or showering or sitting, or doing nothing, or waiting for someone […] They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots.”

In essence, the “float state” is the opposite of multitasking. How many times have you been watching Netflix while scrolling Instagram at the same time? Maybe you feel unproductive for watching Netflix, so scrolling on Instagram makes you feel like you’re doing something. You might think you’re relaxing when you’re actually multitasking.

Something we can all embrace is the mindset that it’s okay to do nothing. Sure, it’s uncomfortable and you might feel awkward because there’s nothing to distract your thoughts.

But embracing more flow time in your schedule is going to help you prevent burnout in the long run. Plus, it’s going to give you space to be more creative and mindful.

How to make time to do nothing


In order to prevent burnout, it’s important to make time to do nothing. You don’t need to make every second of the day productive to make your life fulfilling. On the contrary, you need downtime and pure relaxation (no multitasking!) to nourish your mind, body, and soul.

Here are some tips for embracing “float time” in your schedule:

1. Figure out what float time means to you

Everyone has a different idea of what doing nothing looks like. Maybe it’s sitting still and staring out the window. Maybe it’s something you do without any specified outcome, like doodling, listening to music, or reading. Think about what float time might look for you and how you’d like to use it.


2. Add a time block of float time to your schedule

Figure out how much time you can dedicate to doing nothing. Whether it’s 30 minutes a week or 30 minutes a day, add this to your schedule as dedicated float time. When that time comes around, do whatever feels good in the moment. The most important thing is to avoid multitasking or forcing work during this float time.

If you need to start small, Calm created a great site called Do Nothing for 2 Minutes. Try it out here: donothingfor2minutes.com


3. Be realistic with your to-do list

Are you thinking, “I have no time to do nothing”? If so, it may be that you need to take a step back and reprioritize your to-do list. Be realistic with the number of things you can get done in one day. Also, be real with yourself if you’re procrastinating. Do you really not have enough time or are you not getting things done in a timely manner? If you still have things on your to-do list at the end of the day, you may need to prioritize your time a little differently.

Related Post: 5 Tips To Pause Hustle Mode And Slow Down


4. Know when to push yourself and when to rest

Most of us have peak productivity hours, as well as hours when our energy dips. The energy dip is usually in the afternoon, which is a great time to give yourself space away from your to-do list. If you find yourself trying to force your work during an energy dip, take a break for float time instead. Try tracking your energy patterns for a week by writing down when you feel most energetic and when you run out of steam.


What does doing nothing mean to you?

I hope this post has encouraged you to embrace float time in your own life so you can enjoy downtime without guilt or expectations. Learning to be okay with doing nothing is difficult, but it will help you prevent overwhelm and burnout in the long run. If nothing else, I hope you can take this post as a reminder to cherish any tiny pockets of time you find in your day that allow you to simply do nothing.

Leave a comment below! What would your ideal “float time” look like?

The post How I’m Learning To Embrace The Art of Doing Nothing appeared first on The Blissful Mind.

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Have you ever tried to sit still for five minutes doing absolutely nothing? I think you’ll agree that it’s pretty uncomfortable. Having nothing to do but listen to your own thoughts might feel about as exciting as watching paint dry.

Because we’d rather not subject ourselves to that kind of torture, we rarely give ourselves time to do nothing. Instead, we try to fill every minute of the day, often with insignificant things like scrolling through social media.

Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

When you get into this kind of cycle, it’s hard to let yourself relax at the end of the day. You might feel like you could have accomplished more, even though your day felt ridiculously busy.

If you don’t give yourself time to do nothing, you risk getting burned out. Embracing the art of doing nothing is important if you want more creativity, relaxation, and mindfulness in your life.

In this post, I’m sharing how I’ve shifted my mindset to find a balance between being productive and doing nothing. Plus you’ll get some practical tips to help you make doing nothing part of your routine too (without boredom or guilt).

You don’t have to be productive 24/7


Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

Often we think every moment of the day needs to be productive. In truth, there’s power in allowing yourself to do nothing without any expectations.

The trouble is that learning to be okay with doing nothing is hard. I’ll be the first to admit that I thrive on getting things done, and I love nothing more than a crossed-off checklist. I was working three jobs last year because I wanted to fill my time with productive things.

Even though they were things I enjoyed, it soon became too hard to juggle everything. I never had time to myself, and I felt like I had no creative energy left to give. I eventually realized that life doesn’t have to be FULL to be fulfilling.

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Life doesn’t have to be FULL to be fulfilling.

I think this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially when society tells you to always be busy. You might also expect a lot from yourself and put pressure on yourself to do as much as you can.

When I find myself with nothing to do (or I feel like I should be doing something but I don’t actually have the energy), I tend to feel guilty or like I’m falling behind. It’s easy to beat yourself up for “wasting time”.

The truth is that no one can be productive all the time, nor should you expect yourself to be. The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself in those moments when you’re not being productive.

It’s okay to do less. It’s also okay to do nothing.


Feel like you never have time to simply relax? Here's how you can make doing nothing part of your routine without feeling guilty about it.

Let yourself be in a “float state” sometimes. By float state, I mean letting yourself be still – mentally and physically – without pressuring yourself to do anything.

The reason I love the concept of the “float state” is that the best ideas often come when you’re doing nothing. Have you ever been taking a shower and had a brilliant idea hit you in the face? You can find unexpected creativity in the moments when you’re zoning out, waiting in line, or right before you drift to sleep.

In Italian, dolce far niente means sweet idleness or pleasantly doing nothing. In these moments of sweet idleness, we’re not forcing anything to happen. We’re just responding to what’s around us. We’re giving our thoughts space to breathe without distraction or expectation.

One way I do this is by going for walks without listening to anything. Typically I’d listen to a podcast or music, but listening to nothing (other than the noises of the world) gives me a chance to be more present with my thoughts and ideas. These daily walks are often the times when I come up with new ideas.

In the book Four Seconds, author Peter Bregman writes:

“My best ideas come to me when I am unproductive. When I’m running or showering or sitting, or doing nothing, or waiting for someone […] They are the moments in which we, often unconsciously, organize our minds, make sense of our lives, and connect the dots.”

In essence, the “float state” is the opposite of multitasking. How many times have you been watching Netflix while scrolling Instagram at the same time? Maybe you feel unproductive for watching Netflix, so scrolling on Instagram makes you feel like you’re doing something. You might think you’re relaxing when you’re actually multitasking.

Something we can all embrace is the mindset that it’s okay to do nothing. Sure, it’s uncomfortable and you might feel awkward because there’s nothing to distract your thoughts.

But embracing more flow time in your schedule is going to help you prevent burnout in the long run. Plus, it’s going to give you space to be more creative and mindful.

How to make time to do nothing


In order to prevent burnout, it’s important to make time to do nothing. You don’t need to make every second of the day productive to make your life fulfilling. On the contrary, you need downtime and pure relaxation (no multitasking!) to nourish your mind, body, and soul.

Here are some tips for embracing “float time” in your schedule:

1. Figure out what float time means to you

Everyone has a different idea of what doing nothing looks like. Maybe it’s sitting still and staring out the window. Maybe it’s something you do without any specified outcome, like doodling, listening to music, or reading. Think about what float time might look for you and how you’d like to use it.


2. Add a time block of float time to your schedule

Figure out how much time you can dedicate to doing nothing. Whether it’s 30 minutes a week or 30 minutes a day, add this to your schedule as dedicated float time. When that time comes around, do whatever feels good in the moment. The most important thing is to avoid multitasking or forcing work during this float time.

If you need to start small, Calm created a great site called Do Nothing for 2 Minutes. Try it out here: donothingfor2minutes.com


3. Be realistic with your to-do list

Are you thinking, “I have no time to do nothing”? If so, it may be that you need to take a step back and reprioritize your to-do list. Be realistic with the number of things you can get done in one day. Also, be real with yourself if you’re procrastinating. Do you really not have enough time or are you not getting things done in a timely manner? If you still have things on your to-do list at the end of the day, you may need to prioritize your time a little differently.

Related Post: 5 Tips To Pause Hustle Mode And Slow Down


4. Know when to push yourself and when to rest

Most of us have peak productivity hours, as well as hours when our energy dips. The energy dip is usually in the afternoon, which is a great time to give yourself space away from your to-do list. If you find yourself trying to force your work during an energy dip, take a break for float time instead. Try tracking your energy patterns for a week by writing down when you feel most energetic and when you run out of steam.


What does doing nothing mean to you?

I hope this post has encouraged you to embrace float time in your own life so you can enjoy downtime without guilt or expectations. Learning to be okay with doing nothing is difficult, but it will help you prevent overwhelm and burnout in the long run. If nothing else, I hope you can take this post as a reminder to cherish any tiny pockets of time you find in your day that allow you to simply do nothing.

Leave a comment below! What would your ideal “float time” look like?

The post How I’m Learning To Embrace The Art of Doing Nothing appeared first on The Blissful Mind.

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The Opportunity in Adversity

By Eckhart Tolle

Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”

We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.

Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.

 From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.

 Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.

 And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.

And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.

 So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.

To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.

Join for free and receive upcoming articles, teachings, special announcements, and more.

The post The Opportunity in Adversity appeared first on Eckhart Tolle | Official Site – Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness.

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The Opportunity in Adversity

By Eckhart Tolle

Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”

We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.

Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.

 From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.

 Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.

 And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.

And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.

 So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.

To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.

Join for free and receive upcoming articles, teachings, special announcements, and more.

The post The Opportunity in Adversity appeared first on Eckhart Tolle | Official Site – Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness.

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Note: This was originally written for my weekly newsletter. You can sign up for it here

Welcome to another Mindf*ck Monday, the only weekly newsletter where the ideas are as good as the jokes are bad. Each week, I send you three potentially life-changing ideas to help you be a slightly less awful human being. This week, we’re talking three popular ways to “get better” — 1) therapy, 2) journaling, and 3) meditation—and why I believe they’re all actually kinda the same thing.

Let’s get into it.

Therapy

Why does Talking to Someone About Our Problems Make Us Feel Better? 

Therapy, as a whole, has a great and reliable track record as a tool to help people. Most people who stick with therapy for more than a few months, reliably increase well-being and show fewer symptoms of anxiety/depression. What’s more, the longer people stick with therapy, the greater they tend to  benefit. The research is overwhelmingly in therapy’s favor. It works. It helps people.

But… here’s the plot twist: we still don’t really know why it works

Psychology has produced as many forms of therapy as Adam Sandler has cheesy rom-com movies. The field is an alphabet soup of modalities. You’ve got CBT, AEDP, DBT, IPT, ACT, CPP, SFBT and REBT. You’ve got gestalt, existential, schema, Jungian, interpersonal, Rogerian, humanistic, regression, psychoanalysis, and, of course, everyone’s favorite, family therapy.

Each of these modalities offers a unique framework and its own philosophy. Each one constructs a unique view of the human mind and creates its own approach to attacking pathology and mental illness.

Man on the couch - therapy

With so many approaches to therapy, a few decades ago, researchers rightly became curious about which therapies were the most effective, which ones worked. So they ran hundreds of experiments to measure which therapies produced the best results. And the answer will probably surprise you.

All of them did.

All of them work, to some extent. Pretty much every modality produces, on average, relatively similar results. All of them work decently but not perfectly. Some may work slightly better for certain problems than others (i.e., CBT seems to be marginally better for anxiety). But on the whole, just the fact you’re doing therapy has way, way, way more impact than the type you choose to do.

This is kind of stunning. Because it suggests that for all of the theorizing and frameworking over the last 150 years, from Sigmund Freud to Dr. Phil, the content of the therapy itself isn’t that important. In fact, dozens of studies have struggled to find much measurable benefit to the therapist’s training or credentials. Many studies show that people benefit speaking to amateurs just as much as they do professionals. So, not only does the modality seem to not matter, but the therapist’s credentials don’t even seem to matter that much either.

What’s important is simply getting a person in a room regularly to talk about their problems to another human being who is thoughtful and listens well. That’s the 1% that drives 99% of the results. The value of therapy isn’t the therapy. It’s the context. It’s the environment. You’re paying to have a place to go where you can sort out your shit in front of someone trustworthy and not be judged for it. Everything else—the fancy acronyms and degrees and frameworks—seems to merely be an excuse to get you into that room and into that social context.

Journaling

Why does Writing Down All Our Crazy Thoughts Make Us Feel Better?

So, if most of the value of therapy is merely getting into a room and critically discussing your own thoughts, ideas, and emotions, couldn’t we reproduce that in other ways? Couldn’t you simply call up a trusted friend and do that?

Sure, many people do. But there’s another way that maybe isn’t so obvious.

Journaling.

For most of human history, journaling was not something you did for mental health or self-care, it was simply something any educated person did to help themselves think. Benjamin Franklin, Charles Darwin, Leonardo Da Vinci, Marie Curie, and Winston Churchill were just a few of history’s avid journalers.

It wasn’t until the 1960s and 70s that psychologists considered the idea that journaling may offer therapeutic benefits. Many started to experiment with the practice with their patients. The research caught up and showed that indeed, journaling is very effective at promoting mental health and well-being. Today, many therapists and counselors actively encourage their clients to journal as a supplement to their sessions.

Man journaling under lamp

The mental health benefits of journaling likely mirror the benefits of talk therapy—there is something mysteriously powerful about verbalizing your thoughts and feelings; it somehow causes them to lose their power over you.

But let’s go one layer deeper. Why does verbalizing our thoughts and feelings somehow make them have less of a grip on us? If you’ve read my shit for a long time now, you probably already know what I’m going to say:

I’ve got a theory.

Meditation

Why does Sitting on the Floor and Counting our Breaths Make Us Feel Better?

I remember the first time I meditated, it was this kooky “eastern spiritual” thing that one of my high school teachers thought would be cool to show us. It was the late 90s and back then, meditation was still an exotic novelty, a weird thing reserved for hippies and mystics. No one I knew took it seriously.

Twenty years later, meditation has gone mainstream. It’s now regularly practiced in board rooms, conferences, seminars, prisons, schools, and churches. Meditation apps have taken off and become a multi-billion dollar industry. Today, meditation is not only normal, but it’s hip. It’s something you kinda brag to people about the way people used to brag about going to the gym.

So far we’ve covered that therapy works because you are verbalizing your thoughts and feelings (therefore loosening their grip on you) and receiving non-judgmental feedback from another person. Journaling works in a similar way—it allows you to verbalize your thoughts and feelings to yourself and then respond to them nonjudgmentally.

I would argue that meditation is effective because it does the exact same thing, it just skips the verbalizing.

Woman meditating on deck

The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer wrote that consciousness consists of two parts: the subject and the object. Think of the subject as “the seer” and the object as “the seen.” Both aspects are required in consciousness—there is always something being “seen” and always something doing the “seeing.”

Generally, we are the subject of our consciousness and some external thing is the object. This keyboard I am typing on is currently the object of my consciousness. The food I will have for dinner tonight is the object of my consciousness. The buzzing of my phone is the object of my consciousness.

As long as *I* am the subject and some external thing is the object, then all of my thoughts, feelings, impulses, and desires are bundled up into some intangible subjectivity known as “I” that is not analyzed or considered. This unexamined subject is often referred to as “ego.”

It’s only when we turn our focus on ourselves and make our thoughts and feelings the object of our consciousness that we are able to differentiate them and put them into perspective.

“Oh, I’m feeling sad today and didn’t realize it.” What was once subject (my feeling sad) is now the object of my consciousness, and is thus separated from me. Once separate from me, I can consider my sadness as though it were not me. I can ask why it exists, towards what purpose, is it useful, do I care? This practice of turning one’s subject-base consciousness into the object of one’s consciousness is how self-awareness is formed.

So what do therapy, journaling, and meditation all have in common?

All three are techniques to help us convert what is usually the subject of our consciousness into the object of our consciousness.

That’s it.

They are three tools for building self-awareness and chipping away at the ego. Therapy does this by some thoughtful person inviting us to express our thoughts and feelings. Journaling does this by eliciting us to write about our thoughts and feelings. Meditation does this by teaching us to observe our thoughts and feelings as though they are separate from ourselves.

This is how to get better. To turn the subject into object. To transmute the implicit into the explicit. To shift the internal into external. To move from subjective to objective.

And then, once our thoughts, feelings, and impulses are separated from our “I”—from our ego—we can choose whether we want to keep them and reintegrate them or to simply let them go.