When it comes to work, I’ve found that most of us fall in one of two camps:
We work way too hard, constantly churning, never feeling like we got enough done; or
We put off work, going to distractions, feeling guilty about how little we’re getting done.
Either camp results in long working hours. And it drains us. It leaves us feeling depleted, not alive.
There’s no simple solution to this, of course, but I’d like to propose something here, to both camps:
Do fewer things.
Be more fully in those fewer things.
Recognize your victories.
Rest more. Play more. Connect more.
Let’s look at this from the perspective of each camp.
And please note: I know that not everyone falls into these camps, and not everyone can change the number of hours they work. Take from this post what might be useful to you, toss out the rest.
The Work Too Hard Camp
This is the camp I’ve been in lately — we try to get everything done. When there are things left undone (there always are), we feel like we haven’t done enough.
We never feel like we’ve done enough. Even when, by all external standards, we’re kicking ass.
So working less seems like an impossible thing … but if you recognize that we’re working too much, then it’s actually an obvious fix.
Working less would mean reducing the number of things we do — which would mean focusing on higher priority tasks.
If you could only work 1 hour today, what would you spend that hour doing? What would you do with the rest of the things on your list?
When we ask ourselves these questions, it might become clear that there are some key items we could spend more of our attention on, and many other tasks we could let go of somehow.
Then, after we’ve reduced the number of things, we can practice being more fully in those things.
Then call it a day — a victorious day, where we got the important things done.
Now ask yourself this question: if you had 2 hours of free time where you couldn’t work … what would you do with those hours?
Most of us spend free time doing more work. Or going to favorite distractions. But what if we used that time to be fully connected to the people we care about? Or to take care of ourselves, to read, to play, to do nothing?
The Procrastinate Too Much Camp
I was in this group for years. In this camp, we don’t feel that the “work less” philosophy should apply to us, because we already feel we’re not working enough. We feel guilty for all the time we waste.
Well, let’s start by tossing out that guilt. It’s toxic! We heap all kinds of expectations on ourselves, and then beat ourselves up when we fail to meet those made-up expectations. Let’s throw all that out and start fresh.
With a fresh slate … what would you do with your day? What would feel like an absolute victory?
For this camp, “work less” means have fewer hours, but more focused ones. Spend less of it in avoidance and frittering away the time, cut back the number of hours you work, and be fully in those remaining hours.
So if you were only to work 2 hours today … what would you do with those hours? What tasks would be most important to accomplish? What would make this day feel victorious?
Once you’ve identified those tasks, set aside the time, block out the distractions, and pour yourself into them.
It can help to do them in 15-20-minute chunks, with headphones and music, or for longer sessions to do it on a call with someone else who is trying to focus on their meaningful work as well. Help each other focus, celebrate each other’s victories.
If you could work fewer but more focused hours, you’d free up time for true rest. For play, connection, self-care. And perhaps, more than doing the tasks themselves, this would be the true victory.
How do you feel about Mondays? Do you dread them because they feel hectic? Do you pine after Sunday, feeling like you never truly had time to rest? Sunday should feel like the most replenishing day of the week, but often it escapes us and goes by too quickly.
If you can relate, try giving your Sunday routine a makeover. The best way to start a new week on the right foot begins with the actions you take on the Sunday beforehand. You can use Sundays to relax and prepare for the week ahead so you feel refreshed and clear-minded come Monday morning.
In this post, I’m sharing a look at my Sunday routine which includes some planning, meal prepping, and downtime away from social media and work. If you’re in need of some inspiration for a relaxing yet productive Sunday routine, I hope this post helps!
A Relaxing & Productive Sunday Routine
One of the most important factors of my Sunday routine is that I stay away from social media, my inbox, and computer screens. I set downtime for social media apps on my phone all day so I’m not tempted to check them.
At this point, it’s ingrained into my routine to avoid social media so I don’t feel tempted to check it on Sundays. In fact, I look forward to not going on it every week. This has definitely improved my mindset and attitude towards Mondays and has helped to get rid of those Sunday scaries.
Here are the 7 things I do to relax, prepare for the week, and clear my headspace on Sundays:
Wake up without an alarm
I realize not everyone can do this, but it makes Sundays feel a little more special when you don’t have to worry about what time you have to wake up.
I always wash the bed sheets on a Sunday because there’s nothing quite as satisfying as climbing into a fresh bed on a Sunday night. I usually do this as soon as I get out of bed in the morning to make sure I don’t sneakily try to climb back in.
I try to clean my apartment in under an hour because cleaning is not something I love doing. This includes cleaning the countertops (bathrooms, kitchen, living room) and vacuuming. Recently I did this on a Saturday night so that I wouldn’t have to do it on a Sunday (I know, exciting Saturday plans).
Cooking is the last thing I want to do at the end of a weekday, so meal prepping has made my life a lot easier throughout the week. There are a few things I tend to eat each week no matter what, so I pretty much always cook them ahead of time on Sundays.
I’ll dice up sweet potatoes and lay them on a baking sheet, then whip up some easy protein muffins and throw them both in the oven at the same time. I’ll also cook a batch of rice to eat for lunches or dinners throughout the week. If I bought veggies and fruits (I usually grocery shop on a Saturday), I’ll wash and chop those ahead of time. I also like to make at least one full meal ahead of time, so usually that’s turkey chili, chickpea curry, or lentil tortilla soup.
Since I stay away from social media and my laptop, I try to spend a good chunk of the day absorbed in a book. I’ve read more than I have in a long time since I started this Sunday routine. If you want to know what I’ve been reading lately, feel free to follow me on Goodreads.
I like to review my big picture goals before the start of the week. This is especially helpful when it comes to planning my weekly schedule and making sure I’m being intentional with my time. If it’s a goal that’s easily measured (i.e. pay off x amount of debt), I’ll update my progress to see if I’m on track or need to make improvements.
There you have it! I hope you found some inspiration from my Sunday routine. If you want more ideas for how to use your Sunday to the fullest, check out this post: 20 Productive Things To Do On A Sunday.
Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”
We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.
Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.
From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.
Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.
And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.
And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.
So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.
To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.
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Step 1: Ignore every step-by-step system for success, including probably this one
Look, I know you want to be that big badass with the sweet ass house and all the fancy letters after your name, but let’s be honest for a second. Insane, spectacular success is achieved by doing something exceptional and extraordinary.
To achieve something exceptional and extraordinary, you must—by definition—do something that few or no other people are doing or willing to do. Therefore, wild, insane, spectacular success can only be achieved by actively going against what others have done and/or believing you can do things that others believe they cannot do. Therefore, anything that can accurately be codified into a step-by-step system on the internet is full of shit and not going to help you achieve this kind of success.
Do you think Steve Jobs ever sat around Googling, “How to revolutionize the way everyone communicates?” Fuck no. Do you think Thomas Edison went to the library looking for books titled, “How to build things that can change the world?”
No, they got to work on things that felt important and things that few to no other people could conceive, much less think about.
The problem with a lot of these paint-by-numbers systems that you come across in these articles is that they suffer from what’s known as the “narrative fallacy.” The narrative fallacy is the human tendency to weave explanations of cause/effect into sequences of events that don’t necessarily have anything to do with each other.
For example, if you read a biography about Warren Buffett or Albert Einstein or Eleanor Roosevelt, you will inevitably spend much of the early chapters learning about their childhood. These early chapters are filled with cute and profound-sounding vignettes about their parents, their teachers, and a series of events that “caused” them to later become the kind of genius that they were.
There are two problems with this though:
Whatever happened to little Albert Einstein, there were millions of other little boys who experienced the same shit, yet they did not become Albert Einstein.
Just because two events in a notable person’s life appear connected does not mean that they are connected. The biographer connects them because they form a great narrative. Not necessarily because they reflect reality.
Think about it, for every event that makes it into someone’s biography, there are thousands of small, private events that are, in sum, likely just as influential, if not more than what you actually see. Therefore, these narrative devices, while they make for great books and cute articles like this one, they don’t actually help us suss out what drives incredible levels of success.
If there really is a first step to achieving wild success (and there’s probably not), then it would be this: ask yourself, “What is something critically important in the world that few people are aware of or not working on?” Then… get to work on that!
But understand that even that is no guarantee. Because, let’s be honest, our definitions of “success” are a bunch of fairy godmother, made-up bullshit. Oh yeah… I went there. Fuck your dreams. Fuck your dreams with a cherry on top. Let’s get real…
Step 2: Understand that “success” is just something you and everyone else made up—it’s not even real
People with an overwhelming desire for wealth or fame aren’t motivated by the pure joy of having wealth or fame. No, they have a hole in their psyche that they are trying to fill with enough stuff to not make them feel so inadequate anymore. Maybe they got pushed into too many lockers as a kid. Maybe Mom was an alcoholic and Dad was never around. Maybe they always felt like the stupid kid in class and had that one teacher who was Satan incarnate.
Whatever it is, none of us get through childhood without emotional scars (or, if you’re one of the lucky few who did, then please eat a dick casserole). Those scars cause us to see the world in a skewed, unbalanced fashion—as though everything is magically tilted against us in some imaginary way. They cause us to overestimate the value of things like sex or money or adulation or prestige to the point that our behavior becomes compulsive. These biases then cause us to suffer because they make us do stupid shit.
Ultimately, our definitions of “success” become skewed based on this funhouse mirror view of the world. Daddy was always broke and spending his money at the casino, so you grew up with an unconscious over-emphasis on money and material wealth. You feel like unless you’re bringing down at least eight-figures, then you’re a broke, miserable failure and no one will love you. As a result, you screw your own grandmother out of Christmas money because interest rates are low and you can get a better ROI if Granny cries herself to sleep at night. Congratulations, you have become a grade-A dick casserole.
(We’re just going to run with the casserole thing until it starts to get weird.)
And while it may feel like your definition of success—lots and lots of money—is objective and reasonable, it’s really just you playing make-believe in your head. Plenty of people have definitions of success that have nothing to do with money—they lead happy and healthy lives. Many people who are rich feel as though they are miserable failures and that it’s never enough. There is nothing inherently “successful” about money or fame or love or anything else. It’s our minds that make it so.
That’s right, we each make up what “success” means for ourselves, and then we spend our lives measuring ourselves against that definition. And let’s be honest, most of us don’t actually define success for ourselves, we simply adopt the definitions that are handed to us by our family, environment, and culture.
When you’re a kid, you see everyone around you obsessed with honor or prestige or education or self-indulgence and you kind of just go along with it. Meanwhile, so many years go by that you forget that you went along with it. You start to believe that this is how the world operates—this is what success is.
And when you’re confronted with people who have different definitions of success, or people who point out all of the ways that your precious little definition actually doesn’t make much sense… well, it kind of freaks you out. I mean, if this thing by which you’ve measured yourself for so many years doesn’t really exist, what the hell have you been doing all your life?
That thought is often too much to bear…
Step 3: Succumb to the existential despair that comes with the realization that your self-definition is completely arbitrary and self-invented
Most people resist this realization—that their definitions of “success” are made up and largely motivated by their emotional dysfunction—for a couple reasons. One, it potentially invalidates a lot of what they’ve spent most of their adult life pursuing. Two, it’s really fucking upsetting to realize that the thing you cared about so much might not actually matter. And three, because if the things you’ve spent your whole life caring about may not actually matter… holy shit, what if nothing matters?
Yes, coming to the realization that your definitions of success were simply arbitrary and made-up by either you or the people around you can throw one into an existential crisis.
Historically, most middle-class yuppies hit Step 3 around middle age. So many have this experience in their 40s and 50s that it has become known as the “mid-life crisis.”
You spend your whole life defining success as a good job, a nice house, 2.5 kids and a dog. You work for twenty-plus years to get there and then one day you wake up and realize that you have achieved everything you ever wanted… yet you’re still the exact same sloppy, smelly motherfucker that you were twenty years ago. You don’t feel successful. You don’t feel anything different. You still get just as annoyed and anxious as you used to. You still question and doubt yourself constantly. You still feel frustrated and insecure… it’s just that those frustrations and insecurities have changed shape.
“Fuck, all that work… and for what? What do I do now?”
When you ask this question there may not be a right answer, but there certainly is a wrong answer.
The wrong answer is: “way more of what I did before.”
A lot of people who have defined success as money their entire lives hit middle age, wake up with a shitload of money, have an existential crisis, and come to the conclusion that the answer must simply be more money. This is how you end up with millionaires who live in permanent emotional poverty—a sense that no matter what they do, that it’s never enough. Don’t be this person.
This “never enough” conclusion follows pretty much every worldly definition of success—money, status, prestige, fame, power, accolades. There will always be more to achieve. Therefore, it will never feel as though it’s enough. It’s like living on an extremely exhausting treadmill… except that the treadmill is stuck on an elevator to hell.
Step 4: Eat some popcorn. Drink a beer. You’re going to be okay
When thrown into the maw of an existential crisis, it’s easy to feel as though the world is coming to an end. This beautiful ideal that you spent so many years holding up as the bastion of purity and sanctity has fallen and revealed itself to be yet another illusion of your own fantasies. As a result, you feel directionless. You begin to question everything. You fall into despair. You feel as though there may be no point to anything at all.
But then something happens. Life goes on. That bonus check from work comes through, and while you still recognize that, on some cosmic scale, money is meaningless—it feels kinda good. Birthdays come and go. Vacations are still fun. That new show you watched with your partner was pretty awesome.
Hold on a second… life is actually, like, pretty good.
Slowly but surely, you begin to realize, “Wait, I don’t have to define success to have a good life!” And this epiphany is soon followed by another, more profound epiphany, “I can adopt whatever values I please!”
And then your mind gets to work. What is your definition of success? What is the yardstick by which you will measure your life?
For some, it becomes some ideal—being a good parent, having integrity, practicing honesty, treating others with dignity.
For others, it’s a perspective—success is being fully engaged and appreciating each moment as it arises. There is joy and excitement to be found in any experience, and success is choosing to orient oneself towards it.
For others, the definition becomes incredibly mundane—waking up and going to work each day, cooking meals for friends, being a nice person. And amazingly, these mundane definitions of success somehow seem more effective than the ambitious world-changing definitions of your old self. They are easily achievable. They are enjoyable. And when repeated indefinitely week after week, year after year, incredible things start to happen.
Step 5: Focus on what matters now
Great achievements happen not just through grand visions of the future, but rather doing what feels most significant and important in the current moment.
Let’s return to the Steve Jobs example, as he’s a paragon for what most would consider “wild success.” Jobs didn’t sit around thinking, “What will make me as famous and successful as possible?” No, he got to work on devices that would improve his life today. The focus was on solving day-to-day problems for people.
We think of huge leaps in innovation or creativity as these massive moments of inspiration. But, in reality, they are actually a simple questioning of assumptions that are in front of us all.
Scientific breakthroughs often happen in this way. As Thomas Kuhn discusses in his famous book The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, the biggest breakthroughs in science rarely come from veterans within the academy. That’s because scientists who have built their career and prestige on the current paradigm of understanding are less likely to challenge it.
The biggest breakthroughs come from outsiders—people who have no career or prestige, people like Einstein—who look at the current assumptions and simply say, “What if this wasn’t true? What could be a better explanation?”
What we generally perceive as “wild success” after the fact, typically begins as something small, something unexpected in the moment. And, as Jobs once said, while we can look back and connect the dots, at the time, the way forward is never clear.
Ultimately, people who adopt terrible definitions of success usually do so because they are trying to give their life a sense of meaning and purpose. But, it turns out, the way to give your life a sense of meaning and purpose is to simply be engaged with the problems of the now, to work tirelessly on what stimulates and excites you today, without lofty visions of what prestige might exist for you in the future.
Because not only is this a more emotionally healthy definition of success, but it’s the definition that actually gets shit done.