Anything about this is very important

ender-vatan-2_wSj_4osX0-unsplash

Pandemic life has taught many of us to appreciate moments in life that might otherwise pass us by. I’ve been trying to pause and take note of how I feel at the end of the day, often as I walk in the park or one of my nearby neighborhoods.

With that in mind, here’s a tip inspired by The Art of Stopping Time, a book by Pedram Shojai: whenever you visit a place that’s new to you, consider the sense that you might never be there again.

Just imagine: this might be it! Your one and only opportunity in a lifetime to visit this particular place. How might this realization make you feel?

What, you say you aren’t traveling much now? That’s okay.

This “new place” could be anywhere: a part of the woods you’ve never seen on your next nature hike, for example, or even a street in your neighborhood you’ve never driven down before. The point is to create awareness and appreciation.

I wish I’d had this concept in mind many years ago when I was traveling to several new countries every month. Looking back now, I can remember dozens of highlights that might fit the category of “never returning.”

In Somaliland, I rode several hours in a crowded minibus, listening to people chatter away. We stopped for food (goat stew! I’m a vegetarian, but it was interesting to observe) and drank from a shared bottle of Coca-Cola. Those were the days…

In Bosnia, a totally different part of the world, I traveled overland (this time on a full-sized bus) from Sarajevo to Herceg Novi. The city itself was magical. It felt like one of those “Land Before Time” moments.

ivan-aleksic-ldSYiEs7--4-unsplash

As interesting as those experiences were, I don’t know if I’ll ever repeat them. In fact, almost certainly I won’t. Even when I return to traveling more often, Montenegro and Somaliland aren’t that easy to jet off to.

Not only that, even though I can remember dozens of highlights from my adventures, I’m sure there are hundreds—thousands even—that I’ve forgotten or simply don’t come to mind when I think about this concept.

That’s why it’s good to consider the concept while you’re in a new place. It might help you remember it later, but even if not, you’ll have the moment of appreciation while you’re there.

Oh, and I like thinking about this idea for travel, but technically I suppose you could apply it to anything, even not something related to being in a particular place.

Whatever you’re doing or experiencing today, you might never do or experience it again. Let it sink in and consider how it feels.

###

Image: Ender

Planets biggest method fan !

Fear will always do one of two things:

Keep you stuck. 

Or make you fierce.

The result depends on you. Are your fears holding you back? Or are they helping you become fully engaged — living a purposeful life true to yourself?

Our guest today on MarieTV will help you recognize where you fall. 

Koya Webb is a celebrity health coach, activist, and founder of the international yoga school Get Loved Up. She’s also the author of Let Your Fears Make You Fierce: How to Turn Common Obstacles into Seeds for Growth

Koya knows a thing or two about fear. She writes, “I’ve lived in it. I know firsthand how abuse, depression, and suffering can make you afraid to live and crush your dreams.” But that’s just the beginning of her story.


Our perspective can bring us to a paradise, or it can keep us in prison. @KoyaWebb
Click To Tweet


The truth is, “You are not a victim; you are a creator.”

This conversation made me laugh-cry and cry-cry as Koya told me about her promising path to the Olympics, her hilarious first time doing yoga, and the series of personal traumas she tried to ignore for years.

You’ll also learn how to:

  • Reverse any limiting belief using 4 simple words.
  • Break the cycle of burnout (KEY for you overachievers!).
  • Recognize the voice of your intuition.
  • Release negative emotions.
  • Heal the childhood wounds that are holding you back.
  • Take back your time with a handy scheduling trick.

Whether or not you’re struggling with fear or anxiety, this episode is a must watch. Koya’s joy will lift your spirits, guaranteed.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Learn 3 steps to be ambitious and still have inner peace and let the first lady of yoga, Colleen Saidman Yee, remind you that you’re enough as you are right now.

Now, Koya and I would love to hear from you.

In the comments below, answer these two questions:

  1. What’s your biggest insight, takeaway, or aha from this episode?
  2. What’s one action you can take towards your dream — from where you are, right now?

You’ll never rid yourself completely of fear or self-doubt. There’ll never be a perfect time to pursue your dreams. There is only now.

As Koya says: “You can help people right now. You’re good enough right now. You don’t need an Olympic gold medal. You can start.”

Speaking of… if you’re looking to fast-track your growth, achieve extraordinary results, and save yourself years of expensive trial and error, B-School enrollment is OPEN.

Koya herself is a proud graduate and I’d be honored to support you in building the business of your dreams.

XO

The post Never Let Fear Stop You Again with Koya Webb appeared first on .

posts like this are why everyone likes social media

Stop Asking Couples When They Are Having Kids

“So, when are you having kids?” my aunt asked me soon after I got married. At that point, I had just been married for a few months. I didn’t even know *if* I wanted kids, much less *when* I was having them.

Caught off guard, I replied matter-of-factly, “I have not decided if I want to have kids.” Little did I realize that I would spend the next hour listening to stories of women who put off having children until it was too late, as well as women who had difficulty conceiving for various reasons, with the implicit message being that I was going to regret it if I didn’t hurry and work on producing babies.

This would be my life for the next few years, where I would receive constant questions around “When are you having kids?” from relatives and random people, followed by a routine, almost ritualistic pressurization to have kids.

Lest you think that it ends after having a child, it doesn’t. The people who previously tried to tell you to have “just one kid” when you were indifferent to the idea, will now tell you to have a second one, along with reasons why you should do so. It seems like this questioning process never ends.

The problem with asking people “When are you having kids?”

I understand why people like to ask this question. Find a partner, settle down, get married, and have kids. This is the life path that we’ve been taught to follow since young. This is the life script that we’ve been told is *the* way of life, that would bring us ultimate joy and happiness.

This is especially so in the Chinese culture, where having kids is seen as the ultimate goal in life. There are even sayings built around this notion, such as 生儿育女 (shēng ér yù nǚ), which means to birth sons and raise daughters, and 子孙满堂 (zǐ sūn mǎn táng), which means to be in a room filled with children and grandchildren, used to signify the epitome of happiness.

Multi-Generation Chinese Family at the Park

A multi-generation family, often used to depict a vision of happiness in the Chinese culture

So after you get married, people automatically assume that you should have kids. “When are you having kids?” they ask, somehow expecting you to give them a straight answer to what is really a personal question.

The problem with this question is that it’s rude. It’s presumptuous. It’s also insensitive.

1) There are many different paths to happiness

Firstly, everyone has their own path in life. Some people want kids, while some don’t. Some think that having kids is the greatest joy in life, while some see them as a burden. At the end of the day, having kids isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are significant ups and downs that come with having a kid, and for some people, the ups do not justify the downs. For these people, it may simply be better to remain childless, rather than having kids just to fit in or to fit societal expectations, and then set their lives up for unhappiness. To assume that everyone should have kids, just because you think that having kids is great and important, is rude and disregards that person’s own preferences in life.

For example, Oprah Winfrey is an inspiring woman and humanitarian who chose not to have kids, but has instead dedicated herself to her personal life purpose of serving the world. Oprah hosted her talk show The Oprah Winfrey Show for 25 years, founded a leadership academy for girls and became a mother figure to the girls in attendance, and started her own television network. These are things that most do not get to do in their lifetime. Through the years, she has inspired millions and become a champion for people worldwide. As she says,

“When people were pressuring me to get married and have children, I knew I was not going to be a person that ever regretted not having them, because I feel like I am a mother to the world’s children. Love knows no boundaries. It doesn’t matter if a child came from your womb or if you found that person at age two, 10, or 20. If the love is real, the caring is pure and it comes from a good space, it works.” — Oprah[1]

Is she not being a responsible or purposeful person or woman by choosing not to have kids? Definitely not. In fact, I dare say that she lives a much more purposeful life than many in the world, including some people who choose to have kids.

There are many famous celebrities who have chosen not to have kids as well.

  • Chelsea Handler is a talk show host who chose not to have kids. She has said honestly in interviews that she doesn’t have the time to raise a child, and she doesn’t want her kids to be raised by a nanny.[2][3]
  • Betty White is an actress and comedian who chose not to have kids because she’s passionate about her career and she prefers to focus on it.[4]
  • Ashley Judd is an actress and politican activist who chose not to have kids because she feels that there are already so many orphaned kids in this world. To her, her resources can be better used to help those who are already here, and I respect her for such a noble choice.[5]

And then there are others, such as Cameron Diaz, Chow Yun Fat, Marisa Tomei (the actress for Peter Parker’s aunt in Tom Holland’s Spider Man film series), Renée Zellweger, and Rachael Ray. These people choose not to have kids for different reasons, such as because they’re already pursuing paths deeply meaningful to them, because they do not wish to be tied down with a child, or because they just don’t feel a deep desire to have kids.

Not having kids has not prevented these people from being happy in life, and there’s no reason to assume why people must have kids in order to be happy. People need to stop painting this narrative that one must have children in order to be happy. There are plenty of people with kids who are unhappy, and plenty of people without kids who have found inner fulfillment in life through other ways. There is no one path to happiness, and people need to realize that.

2) You may well cause hurt and pain

Secondly, you never know what others are going through.

Some people may want kids, but maybe they are facing fertility struggles. For example,

  • Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan went through three miscarriages before having their firstborn.[6]
  • The Obamas had a miscarriage before they had their daughters via IVF.[7]
  • Friends star Courteney Cox had a total of seven miscarriages before having her daughter, as she has a MTHFR gene mutation which raises the risk of miscarriage-causing blood clots.[8]

About 10% of women have difficulty getting pregnant or staying pregnant,[9] while 13.5% of known pregnancies end in miscarriages, with the figure rising as the maternal age rises.[10]

For some people, the journey to conceive is fraught with deep pain, struggle, and losses as they experience miscarriages, undergo round after round of invasive fertility treatments, and wait in hope of the double blue lines on their pregnancy kit each month.

And then there are people who cannot have their own biological children due to issues with their reproductive system, which could have been there since birth.

Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and family

Barack and Michelle Obama had a miscarriage before they had their daughters via IVF

While you may be think that you’re being helpful or funny by asking people when they’re having kids, your question may well trigger hurt and pain. As Zuckerberg said,

“You feel so hopeful when you learn you’re going to have a child. You start imagining who they’ll become and dreaming of hopes for their future. You start making plans, and then they’re gone. It’s a lonely experience.”[6]

3) Not everyone is in a place to have kids

Thirdly, having kids is simply not a reality for some people due to their circumstances in life.

Some people may lack the financial resources to have kids, a reality in a place like Singapore.

Some people may be facing problems with their marriage, in which case their priority should be to work on their marriage, not to have kids.

Some people may be so burdened with caring for their dependents that they are unable to consider kids, at least not at the moment.

And then there are people facing chronic health issues, issues that you don’t know and can’t see, which make pregnancy difficult due to the toll it would take on their body.

4) Some couples could still be thinking

And then there are people who are neutral to the idea of having kids, like myself when I just got married. These people need time to think it through, because having kids is a permanent, lifelong decision with serious consequences. There’s no reason to assume that having a kid should be an automatic decision, because you’re bringing a whole new life into this world. This is a decision that will change your life forever, as well as the life of the child you’re bringing into the world.

For those yet to have kids, they need the space to figure out what they want, not have people breathe down their neck day in and out about having kids.

My experience

For the initial years after I got married, I just wasn’t thinking about kids. Firstly, having a child is a lifelong decision, and I wanted to enjoy married life with my husband before diving into a decision as serious as that. Secondly, both my husband and I were genuinely happy spending the rest of our lives with just each other — we didn’t feel the need to have kids at all, not in the way my culture obsesses about it. Thirdly, my husband was dealing with some personal problems, and I was fully focused on supporting him through these. These were issues that we needed to sort through before considering kids, if we were to want kids.

Yet I kept getting nudges to have kids, even though I never said anything about wanting them.

“So, when are you having kids?”

“This person’s baby is so cute, isn’t it? Why don’t you hurry up and birth a baby?”

It was as if I was some vehicle, some production machine to have kids, where my own views in the matter didn’t matter. The most frustrating thing was that I kept getting this question, while my husband would never get it (as a man), not even when we were in the same room together.

It was as if my sole reason for existence as a woman was to have kids, and until I had them, I was regarded as unworthy or incomplete.

The decision to have kids

Yet the decision to have children is a personal one. It is also a complex one. It is a decision that will permanently change the lives of the couple in question.

It is not a decision that one should be pressurized into making because their mom wants to carry grandchildren or their aunt wants to play with kids. It’s a decision that a couple should make because they genuinely want to nurture another life.

Because when a child is born, the people bugging others to have kids aren’t the ones who will be caring for the baby 24/7, whose lives will be set back by years (even decades) as they care for a new life, or who will be responsible for every decision concerning the child for the next 18-21 years.

It will be the couple.

And the people who aren’t ready, who were pressured into having kids because they were told that it was the best thing to do, may have to deal with regret as they are stuck with a decision they cannot undo. Because there are people who regret having kids, and we need to be honest about that. These people regret, not because of the child’s fault, but because they were simply not ready to have kids, be it financially, emotionally, or mentally. Unfortunately, the children are the ones who eventually suffer, from living in dysfunctional households to dealing with issues of violenceabuse, and anger.

We need to recognize these realities, and not make parenthood seem like it’s some magical band-aid that solves a lack of purpose or life’s pressures. Things don’t magically get better because people have kids; existing problems usually worsen as having a child puts a big strain on a couple’s lives. Digging into people’s plans to have kids, and pressurizing them into one of the biggest life decisions they can ever make, will only stress them out and perhaps push some into depression. As this redditor shared,

“I have a friend who went through 6 years of miscarriages and fertility treatments before the doctors figured out the problem and she had her son. The nosy ladies at her work and her in-laws questioned her constantly. The depression from that made it harder for her to conceive.”

Stop asking couples when they’re having kids

So, if you tend to ask others when they’re having kids, it’s time to stop that. It’s rude, insensitive, and it disregards people’s privacy. It’s also none of your business.

The reality is that if people want kids, they will work on having kids. They don’t need you to prod them about it.

If they don’t have kids, it’s either because

  1. they really don’t want kids,
  2. they are not in a position to consider kids right now, or
  3. they want kids but they are facing some struggles.

For people in group (c), they aren’t going to share such deeply personal experience over some afternoon coffee chat, and certainly not by you asking, “When are you having kids?”

The best thing you can do is to give people their personal space. Understand that having kids is a personal decision, and people don’t have to share or explain anything. Respect that others have their right to privacy. Respect that people are individuals on their own path, and this path may not involve having kids. And this doesn’t make them incomplete or lesser in any way.

Instead of asking women or couples, “When are you having kids?”, talk to them like how you would a normal person. There’s no reason why conversations should suddenly revolve around childbearing after marriage; it’s not like a person’s identity changes to revolve around having kids. A person still has their own passion, goals, and dreams. Talk to them about what they’ve been doing. Understand their interests. Know them as a real person, not some random being here to fulfill society’s checklist.

If you’re really interested in someone’s plan to have children, you can simply ask, “Are you and your partner planning to have kids?” If they wish to share more, they will do so. If they give a generic answer, then take the hint and move on.

Ultimately, having kids or not doesn’t change a person’s self-worth. A woman is complete with or without kids. A marriage doesn’t need kids to be deemed complete. Having kids should be a conscious choice, not a result of external pressure. Don’t judge people by whether they have kids or not. Some people will have kids, and some people will not have kids. Some will have kids early, while some will have them later in life. All of these are different paths and there’s nothing wrong with them.

For Me

For my husband and I, we eventually had a few discussions and decided to have a baby, and had our baby girl this year (2020). 😊 Yet other people’s comments and nudges to have children didn’t make me want to have children; it only annoyed me and made me want to avoid these people, because having a child is a personal decision between me and my husband, that has nothing to do with them. It was after we had the space to settle down and enjoy married life without kids, and took some time to actively pursue our goals and interests, that we finally felt ready to try for a kid last year.

In the meantime, I hope all of you are doing well. There are other things that I’m working on, other things that are happening that I look forward to sharing in time to come. Sending lots of love to you, and remember that whatever life challenge you’re facing, you have it in you to overcome it. I’ll talk to you guys soon! 🙂

I <3 mindset

ender-vatan-2_wSj_4osX0-unsplash

Pandemic life has taught many of us to appreciate moments in life that might otherwise pass us by. I’ve been trying to pause and take note of how I feel at the end of the day, often as I walk in the park or one of my nearby neighborhoods.

With that in mind, here’s a tip inspired by The Art of Stopping Time, a book by Pedram Shojai: whenever you visit a place that’s new to you, consider the sense that you might never be there again.

Just imagine: this might be it! Your one and only opportunity in a lifetime to visit this particular place. How might this realization make you feel?

What, you say you aren’t traveling much now? That’s okay.

This “new place” could be anywhere: a part of the woods you’ve never seen on your next nature hike, for example, or even a street in your neighborhood you’ve never driven down before. The point is to create awareness and appreciation.

I wish I’d had this concept in mind many years ago when I was traveling to several new countries every month. Looking back now, I can remember dozens of highlights that might fit the category of “never returning.”

In Somaliland, I rode several hours in a crowded minibus, listening to people chatter away. We stopped for food (goat stew! I’m a vegetarian, but it was interesting to observe) and drank from a shared bottle of Coca-Cola. Those were the days…

In Bosnia, a totally different part of the world, I traveled overland (this time on a full-sized bus) from Sarajevo to Herceg Novi. The city itself was magical. It felt like one of those “Land Before Time” moments.

ivan-aleksic-ldSYiEs7--4-unsplash

As interesting as those experiences were, I don’t know if I’ll ever repeat them. In fact, almost certainly I won’t. Even when I return to traveling more often, Montenegro and Somaliland aren’t that easy to jet off to.

Not only that, even though I can remember dozens of highlights from my adventures, I’m sure there are hundreds—thousands even—that I’ve forgotten or simply don’t come to mind when I think about this concept.

That’s why it’s good to consider the concept while you’re in a new place. It might help you remember it later, but even if not, you’ll have the moment of appreciation while you’re there.

Oh, and I like thinking about this idea for travel, but technically I suppose you could apply it to anything, even not something related to being in a particular place.

Whatever you’re doing or experiencing today, you might never do or experience it again. Let it sink in and consider how it feels.

###

Image: Ender

Interesting info so much this is really good

By Leo Babauta

Today my sons & I were standing at the edge of the pool, on a cold day, knowing that the water we were about to jump into was freezing.

It was Day 27 of my first 40-day discomfort challenge … and we were dreading the cold water.

We knew it would be shockingly cold, because we’ve jumped into it for the past 26 days. We really didn’t want to do it, but we’re committed to this.

And then I invited myself to a mindset shift: can I bring curiosity to this moment?

This moment I have already judged as bad, this experience I’ve already put into a fixed box of “hell no” … could I instead let go of my fixed ideas, and just bring curiosity?

What is this moment like, when I’ve dropped my judgments, fixed views, preconceived notions?

It becomes much more open. Much more filled with possibility.

From this place of possibility … I wondered if there was something to savor right now. Is there anything I can enjoy, appreciate, find sacred and beautiful?

I found a lot to savor: the chilly air, the intensely blue sky and low-lying soft clouds, the quiet neighborhood with planes flying overhead and birds calling out to us. I savored this moment of challenge with my sons, this day of being fully alive and able to do meaningful work with others, this day of having loved ones here and scattered elsewhere who I care deeply about.

I found a lot to savor, and suddenly this become a moment of freedom and love. I jumped in, and found the divine.

The post Savor What You Dread & Avoid appeared first on zen habits.

Who else loves mindset

By Leo Babauta

Today my sons & I were standing at the edge of the pool, on a cold day, knowing that the water we were about to jump into was freezing.

It was Day 27 of my first 40-day discomfort challenge … and we were dreading the cold water.

We knew it would be shockingly cold, because we’ve jumped into it for the past 26 days. We really didn’t want to do it, but we’re committed to this.

And then I invited myself to a mindset shift: can I bring curiosity to this moment?

This moment I have already judged as bad, this experience I’ve already put into a fixed box of “hell no” … could I instead let go of my fixed ideas, and just bring curiosity?

What is this moment like, when I’ve dropped my judgments, fixed views, preconceived notions?

It becomes much more open. Much more filled with possibility.

From this place of possibility … I wondered if there was something to savor right now. Is there anything I can enjoy, appreciate, find sacred and beautiful?

I found a lot to savor: the chilly air, the intensely blue sky and low-lying soft clouds, the quiet neighborhood with planes flying overhead and birds calling out to us. I savored this moment of challenge with my sons, this day of being fully alive and able to do meaningful work with others, this day of having loved ones here and scattered elsewhere who I care deeply about.

I found a lot to savor, and suddenly this become a moment of freedom and love. I jumped in, and found the divine.

The post Savor What You Dread & Avoid appeared first on zen habits.

such a great page

I think you’ll agree that we’re all seeking a fulfilling life. Those late nights searching for your life’s purpose? We’ve all been there. We want to wake up happy and spend our days feeling satisfied, yet that’s rarely the case. It’s hard to feel fulfilled sometimes.

The funny thing is that when something feels off in life, our reaction is often to add more to our plates. We take on more because it means more excitement and less boredom, right?

Life doesn't have to be filled to the brim to be fulfilling. Here’s how I learned that true fulfillment is about doing less, not more.

After burning out in 2019, I learned that this isn’t always the case. I realized that I cannot keep taking on more simply because I feel unfulfilled. Truthfully, there’s fulfillment to be found in doing fewer things. In this post, I’m sharing why you don’t need to fill your life to the brim with activities and plans to make it fulfilling.

Why a full life doesn’t equal fulfillment


When you think of a “full life”, you might immediately think of travel, parties, and experiencing new things (many of the things we can’t do in the state of the world right now). Somehow that’s become the vision of what it means to live a fulfilling life.

But life doesn’t have to be brimming with activities to be satisfying. You don’t have to fill every moment of the day with something to do because you think it will make you more content. I say that, yet I’ve adopted the opposite mindset for most of my life.

In college, I juggled my coursework, a student job, sorority, editing the sociology magazine, being a note-taker, mentoring students, and maintaining friendships and a relationship. Looking back on it, I’m not sure how on earth I managed to do that.

Life doesn't have to be filled to the brim to be fulfilling. Here’s how I learned that true fulfillment is about doing less, not more.

Then again in 2019, I thought working three jobs would make my life more rewarding. All it did was stress me out (and this is coming from someone with decent time management skills).

That year taught me that I cannot keep overscheduling myself. I realized that I needed to lower my self-expectations and be okay with doing a few things instead of every.single.thing.

I think I took on so much because I didn’t want people to think I was lazy. Or maybe it was because I didn’t want to think of myself as lazy. All it really did was make me feel like I was continually chasing my tail.

Forcing life to be “full” can lead to less fulfillment. In fact, a busy life can prevent you from being present most of the time. If you don’t have a chance to slow down and pause sometimes, it’s hard to appreciate the moment you’re in.

Related Post: Feel Like You’re Not Doing Enough? Read This.

If you don’t have a chance to slow down and pause sometimes, it’s hard to appreciate the moment you’re in.

What fulfillment really looks like


I’m not saying that life should be empty, but it doesn’t need to be go-go-go to be fulfilling. A fulfilling life can be quiet and unassuming.

As I write this post now, I’m in the moment; I’m sitting at my desk, listening to music, and letting my thoughts unfold. I could think of so many other things I need or want to do, but I’m enjoying this as it is. This moment is nothing special, but it’s so very special at the same time. 

Life doesn't have to be filled to the brim to be fulfilling. Here’s how I learned that true fulfillment is about doing less, not more.

It might not sound exciting, but maybe that’s why we get hung up on the concept of fulfillment. We assume fulfilling means exciting, but sometimes it’s simple, calm, and understated. 

We also get stuck when we think we need to feel fulfilled every second of the day. If you don’t feel fulfilled all the time, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Fulfillment is a balancing act between moments of joy and moments of stillness. One of the hardest things is learning to be okay with this duality of life.

Fulfillment is a balancing act between moments of joy and moments of stillness.

You don’t have to rush to add new things to your life when you feel unfulfilled. Perhaps you need to reduce or remove instead. After all, it’s better to do a few things extraordinarily well than many things in a mediocre fashion.

Often we can find more fulfillment simply by paying attention. Notice every now and again when you feel a sense of calm. When you’re going for a walk, notice how you put one foot in front of the other without thinking about it. Sometimes that in itself is enough to amaze me and bring me a sense of contentment.

Related Post: 5 Tips To Pause Hustle Mode And Slow Down


What does a fulfilling life mean to you?

I hope this post has given you something to think about when it comes to making your own life fulfilling. Remember that what’s fulfilling to others may not be fulfilling to you. Listen to what you want, and try not to get distracted by what everyone else is doing.

If this post resonated with you, I’d love if you shared it with someone who might enjoy it!

The post Why A “Full Life” Isn’t The Key To Fulfillment (And What I’m Focusing On Instead) appeared first on The Blissful Mind.

I always adore anything related to self-improvement

The Opportunity in Adversity

By Eckhart Tolle

Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”

We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.

Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.

 From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.

 Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.

 And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.

And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.

 So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.

To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.

Join for free and receive upcoming articles, teachings, special announcements, and more.

The post The Opportunity in Adversity appeared first on Eckhart Tolle | Official Site – Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness.