IMO stuff about method are fantastic who agrees?

%%sitename%% | The Self-Improvement Blog | Self-Esteem | Self Confidence

letting go

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. – Herman Hesse

Holding on is a critical way in which we stop ourselves from reaching our goals especially when we are holding on to someone that we certainly need to let go. For instance, clinging to a friend who has become toxic, holding on to memories from a relationship. So, why do we have so much trouble letting go and moving on? We like to hold on to things, situations and especially people because in a way, it is supposedly fulfilling. There is some comfort in familiarity and justification, even when it is deeply rooted in a negative experience. However, not knowing how to let go harms you: it prevents you from achieving your true potential.

Letting go and then moving on

Letting go is a process, learning and experience. You will not learn how to do it overnight, especially if you have spent most of your life holding on to things you once loved even if, deep down, you knew they were not right for you! Focusing on moving forward and creating a new story for yourself will help you deal with an inevitable pain that comes say after a breakup. It will help you eliminate the blame, develop the empowering beliefs to live by and then move on with an absolute open heart. The power of letting go involves solid controlling the very meaning you do attach to all the events in your life. If you cannot get out of the story you have constructed for yourself, then you possibly cannot move on to bigger and brighter things.

So, how can we actually learn to let go? Modern behavioral science suggests that when we learn to intervene in our emotional recollections, we can impede the familiar flow of thoughts by asking ourselves to consider alternative scenarios. We can ask ourselves ‘What if….’ and think about different outcomes.

  • ‘What if I decide to stay calm and simply do not get upset?’
  • ‘What if it was not personal? What if they did not mean to hurt me?’
  • ‘What if I was the real cause of the problem?’

These rational and pragmatic challenges to the old, emotional script engage the logical part of the brain and turn down the emotional energy, reducing stress, anger, anxiety, and fear. It is a highly powerful way to introduce a sense of control over how you are feeling. You could even ask yourself whether this can be a perfect moment to simply let go of the past and consign towards the tired, old experience into the waste bin!

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. – Tao Te Ching

Whatever method you do choose, the moment you experience the freedom of releasing the past you will open up fresh and exciting new possibilities for the future. It might be one of the most demanding challenges we can set for ourselves, but the benefits are so profound and far reaching that they do offer the kind of personal empowerment that can totally transform your life at all possible levels! Do make a clear commitment to release yourself from the past and take a good note of the extraordinary changes that can show up in your life.

You can only lose what you cling to. – Buddhaa

When we let go, we do create heathy space. Letting go is a liberating act that opens us to receive and let us come inside ourselves. We do open up to the present, noticing beauty and miracles, smelling the roses, expressing gratitude and experiencing the joy all around us. Letting go does lead to clarity, and clarity leads us to new insight. We then clear a new pathway for little shafts of new light to flow in that can lead to larger breakthroughs and open floodgates of growth plus discovery!

Please understand that letting go is not the same as giving up. Please note that we do not give up on anyone, including ourselves. So, way of grasping, clinging, or when holding on to a tightly forced, “connection” there is no real connection after all. We can learn to love differently. We can still love deeply, without attachment, and without a complete need for understanding!  It becomes completely possible only when we learn to let go and accept ourselves first!  That is by way of what we are in the present moment not what we were in the past and not what we forcibly aim to be in the future.

Sometimes letting things go is an act of a far greater power than defending or hanging on. – Eckhart Tolle.

Six Tips to letting go and moving on

Please note: that knowing you need to let go and then actually letting go are two very different things. These tips will help you release yourself when it is time to move on.

1. Talk to someone you trust

Holding your feelings inside only keeps you stuck and can eventually turn into anxiety or even develops into depression. Please talk to a supportive friend, a family member or a therapist about how you feel and let them be there for you in your time of need.

2. Identify self-limiting beliefs

If thoughts such as “I cannot be alone” or “I will never find someone else who loves me” do run through your mind, do understand that they are definitely limiting beliefs that will prevent you from truly letting go! Replace them with empowering beliefs like, “I am open to what the universe has in store for me” and “I love myself and deserve the best.” This will definitely help you let go without any fear.

3. Stay away from social media

It is interesting to note that learning how to let go of someone you love becomes much more difficult when you are constantly reminded of them. Though social media is a way to stay in touch with friends and family, it is the opposite of what you need when you are going through say a breakup. Staying away from social media while you heal not only prevents you from seeing pictures and posts from your ex, but it will also happen to keep you from viewing other seemingly happy couples, which can make you feel quite worse about your current situation.

4. Take good care of yourself

The process of letting go and moving on from a relationship can be stressful, retrained, and lonely. It is never a good time to ignore your needs. When you do practice self-care and take the time to fall in love with yourself, you will heal more and perhaps be healthier than when you were before the relationship even started! Do indulge in massages or other relaxing activities, also engage in hobbies that make you happy, and focus on finding fulfillment in everything you do on your own!

5. Do Keep Busy

Staying in bed all day and then avoiding friends and loved ones makes letting go and moving on that much more difficult. Please start your day with an empowering morning ritual that includes activities like meditation, yoga or journaling, so do get up and be involved. Do join groups, volunteer for a new project at work or even meet a friend for lunch or drinks. Staying busy will help take your mind off the breakup and allow your wounds to start healing progressively.

6. Give Yourself Enough Time

Even if you know how to completely let go of someone you love and follow all the steps, do not expect to feel totally better immediately. Grieving is a pretty normal process and you need to allow yourself the necessary amount of time to properly feel your emotions. Treat yourself with compassion and do not allow anyone to guilt you into “just getting over it.”

Though you do not want to isolate and seclude yourself, take some extra time away from social events if you feel you need it and never agree to a date or set-up until you feel you are really ready.  Those who do not give themselves enough time often end up in rebound relationships that are harmful or that prolong the healing process even further!

If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go of the past that drags you down. – Amit Ray

If you consider where you spend most of your time, it is evidently clear that we spend very little time in the present moment. The popular discussions about living in the ‘Now’ have reminded us that we are constantly drawn to our memories of what has happened to us and that these emotionally-tinted recollections become our concrete template for the future. We do know that our memories are not as reliable as we would like to believe and this is particularly relevant in relation to our emotional experiences. Our memories then shift, mutate and cast the outcomes in a new light in order to emphasize the way we prefer to retell our version of the past! Please do note that the past is not always a reliable place to search for the truth.

In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. – Deepak Chopra

About the Author

Trishna PaLetting Gotnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in  marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion that is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, “It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday.” Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India.

Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-on-one basis in Mumbai.

Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and have an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.

 

%%focuskw%% | The Power of Letting Go

I <3 method

By Leo Babauta

Recently a couple of our loved ones died, and my family have been hit by grief and loss. I’ve been letting myself feel it as much as I can, and letting it bring our family closer together.

It’s not the only time death has hit our loved ones in recent years — aside from my father and Eva’s dad dying, we’ve had other close relatives and friends die as well. It can hit you pretty hard.

I’ve been coming to see death differently as I’ve been studying as a Zen student, and while it doesn’t take away the grief, I’ve been finding it helpful:

Death isn’t the end.

I don’t believe in an afterlife, not in the traditional religious sense of heaven or hell. But I do believe that what we think of as death is just a continuation of an ongoing process.

Let’s think of an apple: it is formed from water from the apple tree’s surroundings, sugar and other materials the tree gathers from the ground and air and sunlight … so before the apple was an “apple,” it was the world around it. The world came together to make an apple — it’s not like it just appeared from nowhere. The apple grows and continually changes, and then falls and becomes the earth again. There was never a start or end to the process, it was just continually ongoing.

Everything is like this: part of an ongoing process, without a real beginning or end. People included. In fact, what we think of as a person is just a part of the ongoing process of the world.

And when a person dies, they aren’t gone. They become the earth. They grow into apples, and mangos, and breadfruit, and water buffalo (what we call “carabao” in Guam).

That’s just the person’s body. Their personality doesn’t end either — we remember them, and laugh about jokes they made, and retell their stories, and live lives inspired by them. Their legacy becomes a part of us, of our families. A part of all of humanity, just as they were a continuation of the legacy of the people who shaped them.

The loved ones who died are not gone. They are in all of us, in their kids and grandkids. In the culture and society they helped to shape. In the work that they did, the DNA they passed on, the spirit that they instilled.

My loved ones are in me, and I honor them with every act.

The post Death Isn’t the End appeared first on zen habits.

anyone love method as much as me

How are you supposed to be confident about something when you have nothing to feel confident about?

Like, how are you supposed to be confident at your new job if you’ve never done this type of work before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in social situations when no one has ever liked you before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in your relationship when you’ve never been in a successful relationship before?

On the surface, confidence appears to be an area where the rich get richer and the poor stay the fucking losers they are. After all, if you’ve never experienced much social acceptance, and you lack confidence around new people, then that lack of confidence will make people think you’re clingy and weird and not accept you.

Same deal goes for relationships. No confidence in intimacy will lead to bad breakups and awkward phone calls and emergency Ben and Jerry’s runs at three in the morning.

And seriously, how are you supposed to be confident in your work experience when previous experience is required to even be considered for a job in the first place?

The Confidence Conundrum

If you’ve always lost in life, then how could you ever expect to be a winner? And if you never expect to be a winner, then you’re going to act like a loser. Thus the cycle of suckage continues.

This is the confidence conundrum, where in order to be happy or loved or successful, first you need to be confident… but to be confident, first you need to be happy or loved or successful.

So it seems like you’re stuck in one of two loops: either you’re already in a happy and confident loop, like this.

Or you’re in a loser loop, like this.

And if you’re in the loser loop, well it seems damn near impossible to get out.

It’s like a dog chasing its own tail. Or Domino’s ordering its own pizza. You can spend a lot of time cuticle-gazing trying to mentally sort everything out, but just like with your lack of confidence, you’re likely to end up right back where you started.

But maybe we’re going about this all wrong. Maybe the confidence conundrum isn’t really a conundrum at all.

If we pay close attention, we can learn a few things about confidence just by observing people. So before you run off and order that pizza, let’s break this down:

  1. Just because somebody has something (tons of friends, a million dollars, a bitchin’ beach body) doesn’t necessarily mean that this person is confident in it. There are business tycoons who totally lack confidence in their own wealth, models who lack confidence in their looks, and celebrities who lack confidence in their own popularity. So I think the first thing we can establish is that confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker. Rather, our confidence is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality.
  2. Because our confidence is not necessarily linked to any external, tangible measurement, we can conclude that improving the external, tangible aspects of our lives won’t necessarily build confidence. Chances are that if you’ve lived more than a couple of decades, you’ve experienced this in some form or another. Getting a promotion at your job doesn’t necessarily make you more confident in your professional abilities. In fact, it can often make you feel less confident. Dating and/or sleeping with more people doesn’t necessarily make you feel more confident about how attractive you are. Moving in with your partner or getting married doesn’t necessarily make you feel any more confident in your relationship.
  3. Confidence is a feeling. An emotional state and a state of mind. It’s the perception that you lack nothing. That you are equipped with everything you need, both now and for the future. A person confident in their social life will feel as though they lack nothing in their social life. A person with no confidence in their social life believes that they lack the prerequisite coolness to be invited to anyone’s pizza party. It’s this perception of lacking something that drives their needy, clingy, and/or bitchy behavior.

How to Be More Confident

The obvious and most common answer to the confidence conundrum is to simply believe that you lack nothing. That you already have, or at least deserve, whatever you feel you would need to make you confident.

But this sort of thinking—believing you’re already beautiful even though you’re a frumpy slob, or believing you’re a raving success even though your only profitable business venture was selling weed in high school—leads to the kind of insufferable narcissism that causes people to argue that obesity (something that is more detrimental to your health than smoking cigarettes) should be celebrated as beauty and that it’s, like, totally OK to carve your name into the Roman Colosseum, because, you know, selfies.

A lot of people soon realize this doesn’t work and so they take a different approach: incremental, external improvement.

They read articles that tell them the top 50 things confident people do, and then they try to do those things.

They start to exercise, dress better, make more eye contact, and practice firmer handshakes.

This is admittedly a step above simply believing that you’re already confident and that you don’t belong in the loser loop. After all, at least you’re doing something about your lack of confidence. And actually, it will work—but only for a little while.

Again, this type of thinking only focuses on external sources of confidence. And remember, deriving your self-confidence from the world around you is short-lived at its best and completely fucking delusional at its worst.

So no, external improvement is not a sustainable solution to the confidence conundrum. And feeling as though you lack nothing and deluding yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream of is far worse.

Read that again.

The big charade with confidence is that it has nothing to do with being comfortable in what we achieve and everything to do with being comfortable in what we don’t achieve.

People who are confident in business are confident because they’re comfortable with failure. They realize that failure is simply part of learning how their market works. It’s a reflection of their lack of knowledge, not a reflection of who they are as a person.

People who are confident in their social lives are confident because they’re comfortable with rejection. They’re not afraid of rejection because they’re comfortable with people not liking them as long as they’re expressing themselves honestly.

People who are confident in their relationships are confident because they’re comfortable with getting hurt. They’re not afraid to be vulnerable and tell someone how they feel and then establish strong boundaries around those feelings, even if it means being uncomfortable (or leaving a bad relationship).

Building Confidence Through Failure

The truth is that the route to the positive runs through the negative. Those among us who are the most comfortable with negative experiences are those who reap the most benefits.

It’s counterintuitive, but it’s also true. We often worry that if we become comfortable in our failures—that if we accept failure as an inevitable part of living—that we will become failures.

But it doesn’t work that way.

Comfort in our failures allows us to act without fear, to engage without judgment, to love without conditions. It’s the dog that lets the tail go, realizing that it’s already a part of himself. It’s the Domino’s that cancels its own order, realizing it already has the pizza it wanted. Or something.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to publish this article comfortable with the fact that some people will probably hate it. And eat my pizza.

Nice love self-improvement

%%sitename%% | The Self-Improvement Blog | Self-Esteem | Self Confidence

letting go

Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. – Herman Hesse

Holding on is a critical way in which we stop ourselves from reaching our goals especially when we are holding on to someone that we certainly need to let go. For instance, clinging to a friend who has become toxic, holding on to memories from a relationship. So, why do we have so much trouble letting go and moving on? We like to hold on to things, situations and especially people because in a way, it is supposedly fulfilling. There is some comfort in familiarity and justification, even when it is deeply rooted in a negative experience. However, not knowing how to let go harms you: it prevents you from achieving your true potential.

Letting go and then moving on

Letting go is a process, learning and experience. You will not learn how to do it overnight, especially if you have spent most of your life holding on to things you once loved even if, deep down, you knew they were not right for you! Focusing on moving forward and creating a new story for yourself will help you deal with an inevitable pain that comes say after a breakup. It will help you eliminate the blame, develop the empowering beliefs to live by and then move on with an absolute open heart. The power of letting go involves solid controlling the very meaning you do attach to all the events in your life. If you cannot get out of the story you have constructed for yourself, then you possibly cannot move on to bigger and brighter things.

So, how can we actually learn to let go? Modern behavioral science suggests that when we learn to intervene in our emotional recollections, we can impede the familiar flow of thoughts by asking ourselves to consider alternative scenarios. We can ask ourselves ‘What if….’ and think about different outcomes.

  • ‘What if I decide to stay calm and simply do not get upset?’
  • ‘What if it was not personal? What if they did not mean to hurt me?’
  • ‘What if I was the real cause of the problem?’

These rational and pragmatic challenges to the old, emotional script engage the logical part of the brain and turn down the emotional energy, reducing stress, anger, anxiety, and fear. It is a highly powerful way to introduce a sense of control over how you are feeling. You could even ask yourself whether this can be a perfect moment to simply let go of the past and consign towards the tired, old experience into the waste bin!

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. – Tao Te Ching

Whatever method you do choose, the moment you experience the freedom of releasing the past you will open up fresh and exciting new possibilities for the future. It might be one of the most demanding challenges we can set for ourselves, but the benefits are so profound and far reaching that they do offer the kind of personal empowerment that can totally transform your life at all possible levels! Do make a clear commitment to release yourself from the past and take a good note of the extraordinary changes that can show up in your life.

You can only lose what you cling to. – Buddhaa

When we let go, we do create heathy space. Letting go is a liberating act that opens us to receive and let us come inside ourselves. We do open up to the present, noticing beauty and miracles, smelling the roses, expressing gratitude and experiencing the joy all around us. Letting go does lead to clarity, and clarity leads us to new insight. We then clear a new pathway for little shafts of new light to flow in that can lead to larger breakthroughs and open floodgates of growth plus discovery!

Please understand that letting go is not the same as giving up. Please note that we do not give up on anyone, including ourselves. So, way of grasping, clinging, or when holding on to a tightly forced, “connection” there is no real connection after all. We can learn to love differently. We can still love deeply, without attachment, and without a complete need for understanding!  It becomes completely possible only when we learn to let go and accept ourselves first!  That is by way of what we are in the present moment not what we were in the past and not what we forcibly aim to be in the future.

Sometimes letting things go is an act of a far greater power than defending or hanging on. – Eckhart Tolle.

Six Tips to letting go and moving on

Please note: that knowing you need to let go and then actually letting go are two very different things. These tips will help you release yourself when it is time to move on.

1. Talk to someone you trust

Holding your feelings inside only keeps you stuck and can eventually turn into anxiety or even develops into depression. Please talk to a supportive friend, a family member or a therapist about how you feel and let them be there for you in your time of need.

2. Identify self-limiting beliefs

If thoughts such as “I cannot be alone” or “I will never find someone else who loves me” do run through your mind, do understand that they are definitely limiting beliefs that will prevent you from truly letting go! Replace them with empowering beliefs like, “I am open to what the universe has in store for me” and “I love myself and deserve the best.” This will definitely help you let go without any fear.

3. Stay away from social media

It is interesting to note that learning how to let go of someone you love becomes much more difficult when you are constantly reminded of them. Though social media is a way to stay in touch with friends and family, it is the opposite of what you need when you are going through say a breakup. Staying away from social media while you heal not only prevents you from seeing pictures and posts from your ex, but it will also happen to keep you from viewing other seemingly happy couples, which can make you feel quite worse about your current situation.

4. Take good care of yourself

The process of letting go and moving on from a relationship can be stressful, retrained, and lonely. It is never a good time to ignore your needs. When you do practice self-care and take the time to fall in love with yourself, you will heal more and perhaps be healthier than when you were before the relationship even started! Do indulge in massages or other relaxing activities, also engage in hobbies that make you happy, and focus on finding fulfillment in everything you do on your own!

5. Do Keep Busy

Staying in bed all day and then avoiding friends and loved ones makes letting go and moving on that much more difficult. Please start your day with an empowering morning ritual that includes activities like meditation, yoga or journaling, so do get up and be involved. Do join groups, volunteer for a new project at work or even meet a friend for lunch or drinks. Staying busy will help take your mind off the breakup and allow your wounds to start healing progressively.

6. Give Yourself Enough Time

Even if you know how to completely let go of someone you love and follow all the steps, do not expect to feel totally better immediately. Grieving is a pretty normal process and you need to allow yourself the necessary amount of time to properly feel your emotions. Treat yourself with compassion and do not allow anyone to guilt you into “just getting over it.”

Though you do not want to isolate and seclude yourself, take some extra time away from social events if you feel you need it and never agree to a date or set-up until you feel you are really ready.  Those who do not give themselves enough time often end up in rebound relationships that are harmful or that prolong the healing process even further!

If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go of the past that drags you down. – Amit Ray

If you consider where you spend most of your time, it is evidently clear that we spend very little time in the present moment. The popular discussions about living in the ‘Now’ have reminded us that we are constantly drawn to our memories of what has happened to us and that these emotionally-tinted recollections become our concrete template for the future. We do know that our memories are not as reliable as we would like to believe and this is particularly relevant in relation to our emotional experiences. Our memories then shift, mutate and cast the outcomes in a new light in order to emphasize the way we prefer to retell our version of the past! Please do note that the past is not always a reliable place to search for the truth.

In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself. – Deepak Chopra

About the Author

Trishna PaLetting Gotnaik, a BSc (in Life Sciences) and MBA (in  marketing) by qualification but an artist by choice. A self-taught artist based in Mumbai, Trishna has been practising art for over 14 years. After she had a professional stint in various reputed corporates, she realised that she wanted to do something more meaningful. She found her true calling in her passion that is painting. Trishna is now a full-time professional painter pursuing her passion to create and explore to the fullest. She says, “It’s a road less travelled but a journey that I look forward to everyday.” Trishna also conducts painting workshops across Mumbai and other metropolitan cities of India.

Trishna is an art therapist and healer. She works with clients on a one-on-one basis in Mumbai.

Trishna fancies the art of creative writing and is dappling her hands in that too, to soak in the experience and have an engagement with readers, wanderers and thinkers.

 

%%focuskw%% | The Power of Letting Go

Who else loves self-improvement ?

Does self-care ever feel overwhelming or like another thing on your to-do list? Maybe you feel like you desperately need self-care, but you’re never sure exactly what you need in the moment. This leads to a quick Google for “self-care ideas” which gives you a million suggestions that leave you feeling more stressed out than when you started.

Learn about the seven pillars of self-care and take the self-care quiz to see which type of self-care you need right now.

There’s a lot of information out there about self-care, and it’s a complex topic that only makes things more confusing. All you know is that you need to take care of yourself, but you’re not sure what that should look like.

I have a simple solution to avoid overwhelm: look at self-care in terms of seven pillars. Seven might sound like a lot, but once you know them, you can better recognize what needs work in your life instead of trying to do everything. Plus I’ve created a self-care quiz you can take to see which type of self-care you need right now!

Overview of the Pillars


The seven pillars of self-care work together to bring a sense of wholeness to your life. I previously wrote about the five dimensions of self-care in this post, but I’ve added two other elements because I felt like they were missing from the original list: recreational and environmental.

7 pillars of self-care

The pillars of self-care:

  1. Mental
  2. Emotional
  3. Physical
  4. Environmental
  5. Spiritual
  6. Recreational
  7. Social

How to use them:

Seeing this list might feel overwhelming. You might think you have to find some kind of perfect balance between them all.

You don’t need to focus on finding a perfect balance between them all. Instead, you might need to focus on one area for a day, a week, maybe even a month. When you’re ready, you can focus on others.

What’s most important is noticing which one area needs attention so that it doesn’t start dragging the other areas down with it.

Now that we’re a little less overwhelmed, let’s explore the pillars of self-care in more detail:

The 7 Pillars of Self-Care


1. Mental Self-Care

Mental self-care

Mental/intellectual self-care is about cultivating a healthy mindset through mindfulness and curiosity. Mental self-care is important for developing a healthy mindset, growing your skills, reducing stress, and enhancing your knowledge and creativity.

Examples of mental self-care:


2. Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care

Emotional self-care involves taking care of matters of the heart with healthy coping strategies and self-compassion. Tapping into emotional self-care helps you understand yourself more, better deal with challenges and setbacks, and develop healthy emotional responses.

Examples of emotional self-care:

  • Watching a deep movie
  • Listening to your favorite songs
  • Writing down positive affirmations
  • Asking for help when you need it
  • Setting boundaries to protect your time and energy

3. Physical Self-Care

Physical self-care

Physical self-care involves taking care of your body with exercise, nutrition, good hygiene, and proper sleep. When you practice activities for your physical well-being, you can increase your energy levels and boost your self-esteem.

Examples of physical self-care:

  • Eating meals at regular times (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
  • Drinking more water
  • Taking vitamins daily
  • Getting 7-8 hours of sleep
  • Trying a new workout class or video (here’s a playlist)

4. Environmental Self-Care

Environmental self-care

Environmental self-care involves taking care of the spaces and places around you. The more you take care of your immediate environment, the more it will help you to thrive and feel a sense of belonging where you are.

Examples of environmental self-care:

  • Arranging your workspace to be more comfortable
  • Exploring somewhere new (even if it’s in your own town)
  • Decluttering your living space
  • Going outside for a walk
  • Appealing to your five senses (e.g. light a candle, adjust the lighting, put on comfortable clothes, sip a warm drink, and put on your favorite playlist)

5. Spiritual Self-Care

Spiritual self-care

Spiritual self-care involves taking care of your soul through activities or practices that provide a sense of purpose, direction, or meaning to your life. Dedicating time to spiritual self-care can help you find more meaning in life, feel more grounded, and develop a sense of belonging in life.

Examples of spiritual self-care:

  • Spending time in nature
  • Finding a community to contribute to (online or offline)
  • Identifying your values & what’s meaningful to you
  • Volunteering or contributing to a cause you believe in
  • Connecting to a higher power (whatever that means to you)

6. Recreational Self-Care

Recreational self-care

Recreational self-care involves taking care of your inner child with hobbies, fun activities, and new experiences. Recreation is important because it lets you get away from the pressure of your to-do list and simply enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer.

Examples of recreational self-care:

  • Taking time for hobbies and creative activities
  • Going on an adventure by yourself or with others
  • Taking time to do absolutely nothing (and enjoying it!)
  • Playing board or video games
  • Switching up your regular daily routine

7. Social Self-Care

Social self-care

Even though self-care is about you, it’s important to connect with other human beings on a regular basis. Social self-care means cultivating healthy relationships and connecting with people who get you. Seeking out positive social connections helps us create a sense of belonging and acceptance. 

Examples of social self-care:

  • Spending time with people whose company you enjoy
  • Calling or seeing your relatives
  • Writing a letter to a friend (pen-pal style!)
  • Talking to a support group
  • Chatting in an online forum or community

Which pillar do you need to focus on? Take the self-care quiz!

Self-care quiz

If you’re not sure which pillar of self-care you need most, take the self-care quiz to find out what to focus on first.

My hope is that this quiz will become a tool you use whenever you feel indecisive or unsure of the type of self-care you need. Come back to it whenever you need it!

Take this quiz here. Feel free to let me know your results in a comment below!

The post The 7 Pillars of Self-Care and How To Use Them appeared first on The Blissful Mind.

love the post

“Don’t make me a hero!”

Whenever you put someone on a pedestal — including yourself — you set them up for failure. Why? Because you don’t need to be superhuman to make a difference. Even a hot mess can change the world.

You just have to keep showing up.

Luvvie Ajayi Jones, who delivered the iconic TED talk Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable, which has over 5 million views, is on MarieTV today talking about how to get crystal clear on who you are and what you stand for.

She’s the author of the New York Times Bestseller, I’m Judging You, co-creator of the #ShareTheMicNow global movement, and host of the Professional Troublemaker podcast. Luvvie’s new book, Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, is SO good I wanted to squeeze the darn thing cover-to-cover till its eyes popped out.


The thing that people want you to quell, the thing that they want you to be less of, it's typically the thing that you are gifted at. @Luvvie
Click To Tweet


If you’ve ever wished for the clarity to know exactly who you are, and the confidence to show up as your full self in any room, this episode is a must-watch. You’ll learn:

  • How to set — and hold — healthy boundaries.
  • Why Luvvie turned down TED twice (before giving a talk that went viral).
  • The power of “Oriki” and being crystal clear on who you are.
  • How to be true to yourself — even when the world tells you not to.
  • The Game of Thrones secret to achieving your dreams.
  • What to do when someone says you’re “too much.”
  • How to distinguish valuable feedback from heartless criticism.
  • Why pleasing everybody is ruining your career (and what to do instead).

Watch this episode, then turn your insights into action below the video.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Don’t let naysayers stop you from living your purpose! Learn how to deal with criticism & find your calling with Rha Goddess.

Wasn’t that AWESOME?

Growing up, Luvvie always got in trouble for running her mouth. Now she’s a celebrated speaker with a wildly popular TED talk. She says:

“So often the thing people want you to quell, the thing they tell you to be less of, is the thing that you are gifted at.”

Now Luvvie and I would love to hear from you.

In the comments below, answer these two questions:

  1. As a kid, what did you most often get in trouble for?
  2. What gift or superpower do you have that comes from this same quality?

Walking through the world with your light on isn’t always easy — you’ll face critics, fears, and your own self-doubt — but it’s worth the risk.

Because the world really does need that special gift that only you have.

XO

The post How to Set Boundaries, Face Your Fears, & Find Your Superpower with Luvvie Ajayi Jones appeared first on .

Stuff about method are why I like social media

Does self-care ever feel overwhelming or like another thing on your to-do list? Maybe you feel like you desperately need self-care, but you’re never sure exactly what you need in the moment. This leads to a quick Google for “self-care ideas” which gives you a million suggestions that leave you feeling more stressed out than when you started.

Learn about the seven pillars of self-care and take the self-care quiz to see which type of self-care you need right now.

There’s a lot of information out there about self-care, and it’s a complex topic that only makes things more confusing. All you know is that you need to take care of yourself, but you’re not sure what that should look like.

I have a simple solution to avoid overwhelm: look at self-care in terms of seven pillars. Seven might sound like a lot, but once you know them, you can better recognize what needs work in your life instead of trying to do everything. Plus I’ve created a self-care quiz you can take to see which type of self-care you need right now!

Overview of the Pillars


The seven pillars of self-care work together to bring a sense of wholeness to your life. I previously wrote about the five dimensions of self-care in this post, but I’ve added two other elements because I felt like they were missing from the original list: recreational and environmental.

7 pillars of self-care

The pillars of self-care:

  1. Mental
  2. Emotional
  3. Physical
  4. Environmental
  5. Spiritual
  6. Recreational
  7. Social

How to use them:

Seeing this list might feel overwhelming. You might think you have to find some kind of perfect balance between them all.

You don’t need to focus on finding a perfect balance between them all. Instead, you might need to focus on one area for a day, a week, maybe even a month. When you’re ready, you can focus on others.

What’s most important is noticing which one area needs attention so that it doesn’t start dragging the other areas down with it.

Now that we’re a little less overwhelmed, let’s explore the pillars of self-care in more detail:

The 7 Pillars of Self-Care


1. Mental Self-Care

Mental self-care

Mental/intellectual self-care is about cultivating a healthy mindset through mindfulness and curiosity. Mental self-care is important for developing a healthy mindset, growing your skills, reducing stress, and enhancing your knowledge and creativity.

Examples of mental self-care:


2. Emotional Self-Care

Emotional self-care

Emotional self-care involves taking care of matters of the heart with healthy coping strategies and self-compassion. Tapping into emotional self-care helps you understand yourself more, better deal with challenges and setbacks, and develop healthy emotional responses.

Examples of emotional self-care:

  • Watching a deep movie
  • Listening to your favorite songs
  • Writing down positive affirmations
  • Asking for help when you need it
  • Setting boundaries to protect your time and energy

3. Physical Self-Care

Physical self-care

Physical self-care involves taking care of your body with exercise, nutrition, good hygiene, and proper sleep. When you practice activities for your physical well-being, you can increase your energy levels and boost your self-esteem.

Examples of physical self-care:

  • Eating meals at regular times (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)
  • Drinking more water
  • Taking vitamins daily
  • Getting 7-8 hours of sleep
  • Trying a new workout class or video (here’s a playlist)

4. Environmental Self-Care

Environmental self-care

Environmental self-care involves taking care of the spaces and places around you. The more you take care of your immediate environment, the more it will help you to thrive and feel a sense of belonging where you are.

Examples of environmental self-care:

  • Arranging your workspace to be more comfortable
  • Exploring somewhere new (even if it’s in your own town)
  • Decluttering your living space
  • Going outside for a walk
  • Appealing to your five senses (e.g. light a candle, adjust the lighting, put on comfortable clothes, sip a warm drink, and put on your favorite playlist)

5. Spiritual Self-Care

Spiritual self-care

Spiritual self-care involves taking care of your soul through activities or practices that provide a sense of purpose, direction, or meaning to your life. Dedicating time to spiritual self-care can help you find more meaning in life, feel more grounded, and develop a sense of belonging in life.

Examples of spiritual self-care:

  • Spending time in nature
  • Finding a community to contribute to (online or offline)
  • Identifying your values & what’s meaningful to you
  • Volunteering or contributing to a cause you believe in
  • Connecting to a higher power (whatever that means to you)

6. Recreational Self-Care

Recreational self-care

Recreational self-care involves taking care of your inner child with hobbies, fun activities, and new experiences. Recreation is important because it lets you get away from the pressure of your to-do list and simply enjoy the pleasures that life has to offer.

Examples of recreational self-care:

  • Taking time for hobbies and creative activities
  • Going on an adventure by yourself or with others
  • Taking time to do absolutely nothing (and enjoying it!)
  • Playing board or video games
  • Switching up your regular daily routine

7. Social Self-Care

Social self-care

Even though self-care is about you, it’s important to connect with other human beings on a regular basis. Social self-care means cultivating healthy relationships and connecting with people who get you. Seeking out positive social connections helps us create a sense of belonging and acceptance. 

Examples of social self-care:

  • Spending time with people whose company you enjoy
  • Calling or seeing your relatives
  • Writing a letter to a friend (pen-pal style!)
  • Talking to a support group
  • Chatting in an online forum or community

Which pillar do you need to focus on? Take the self-care quiz!

Self-care quiz

If you’re not sure which pillar of self-care you need most, take the self-care quiz to find out what to focus on first.

My hope is that this quiz will become a tool you use whenever you feel indecisive or unsure of the type of self-care you need. Come back to it whenever you need it!

Take this quiz here. Feel free to let me know your results in a comment below!

The post The 7 Pillars of Self-Care and How To Use Them appeared first on The Blissful Mind.