Cool post this is really good more on method please

If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know that when a narcissist leaves you, very often they come back and start the whole cycle over again. Narcissists groom their targets for the idealize-devalue-discard-hoover cycle. They know the effect this has on neurotransmitters like dopamine. It’s intentional. They want you to feel as … Read more

The post 9 Top Signs A Narcissist Is Really Finished With You appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.

Amazing I <3self-improvement

Ever wish you’d wake up one day and a brilliant business idea would strike you like a flash of lightning?

It could happen. But, sometimes inspiration shows up more like… a bee sting.

That’s what happened to Mikaila Ulmer, 15-year old social entrepreneur, bee ambassador, and author of Bee Fearless: Dream Like a Kid.

At age 4½, two painful bee stings and a recipe from Granny Helen prompted Mikaila to learn more about bees and launch her first lemonade stand. Since then, she’s turned Me & the Bees Lemonade into a socially-conscious business, landed an investment with Daymond John on Shark Tank, sold over 1 million bottles in 1800 stores, started a bee nonprofit, and even fist-bumped Barack Obama while serving her lemonade at the White House.


Don't be discouraged by life's little stings. Get back up and spread your wings. @MikailasBees
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Today, she’s on MarieTV to show you how to start a business at any age — even if you’re nervous and have no idea what you’re doing. If you’ve ever wondered whether you have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, or if your idea is good enough, today’s episode is a must-watch.

You’ll learn:

4:10 — What it took for Mikaila to earn her first dollar.
5:29 — Got kids? Tips to help your children follow their dreams.
8:03 — The #1 key ingredient to succeed in anything.
18:50 — Mikaila’s “Face-On-The-Bottle Secret” to handle criticism without crumbling.
21:15 — The Shark Tank Story: How she landed a deal with Daymond John.
24:17 — How to turn big disappointment into even bigger success.
32:10 — Advice for starting a business at any age.

Whether you’re a business owner, aspiring entrepreneur, or just want to make a difference in the world, Mikaila’s here to prove you can do anything you set your mind to. Sit back and let this brilliant 15-year-old inspire you to get started.

Hit play to watch now or listen on The Marie Forleo Podcast.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Why Daymond John thinks you should stop waiting for your lucky break and how to build a meaningful business.

Do you have a business idea, cause you believe in, or change you’d like to see in the world?

Leave a comment below to be the spark of inspiration for others. Share your purpose-driven idea or an aha-moment from this episode, and how you plan to turn your insight into action.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.

Don’t worry if your dream seems impossible right now. As Mikaila so beautifully says, “I know that if we all go out in this world looking at the possibilities of things instead of just the problems, our future will be a whole lot brighter.”

With all my love and a lemonade toast,

XO 

The post What Kids Can Teach Us About Starting a Business with Mikaila Ulmer appeared first on .

I <3 method ?

“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment.”

Hagakure

By Leo Babauta

If you’re in a job where you could be doing a thousand things, staying focused for most of the day can become a big problem. We want to do too much.

Today I’d like to talk about this hard problem faced by anyone doing meaningful work.

If you don’t tackle this challenge, you’ll be left feeling scattered and unfocused, overwhelmed and disconnected.

If you can take it on … you can create an experience of getting meaningful things done.

How does that sound? Let’s dive in.

Staying Focused on Meaningful Tasks

I don’t think I need to go too much into the problem of feeling scattered and unfocused during the day — most of us are pretty damn familiar with that.

So how do we tackle it?

The method is fairly simple, though of course it’s so easy to be led astray from it (I lose this thread all the time). I’ve been advocating this for almost 14 years now:

  1. Make a short list. I recommend 3-5 important, meaningful tasks. And then a few more smaller tasks you’ll take on later in the day when you don’t have as much focus power. These are the tasks you’ll take on today (ideally make the list the evening before).
  2. Order the list, and pick the top one. If you spend time the evening before, or just a few minutes first thing in the morning, prioritizing your short list … you won’t have to think about it when the time comes to execute. This is really important. Don’t let yourself negotiate — pick the top thing on your list and don’t question it at execution time.
  3. Execute your ass off on this one thing. Focus on this and nothing else. Close off distractions. Don’t worry about everything else that needs to be done. This is the only thing in the universe. If you get interrupted, take care of the interruption (or put it on your list for later), and then get back to focusing. Pour yourself into it, with as much meaning as you can (more on this below).
  4. Repeat. When you’re done with the task or can’t work on it because you’re waiting on something, pick the next one on the list. When you don’t have focus power anymore (late afternoon for me), take care of the smaller, easy tasks that need to get done.

I keep one long list of tasks that I need (or would like) to do sometime (my backlog), and pick from that each day.

It’s important to keep the list short — you don’t want to have everything you could possibly do on the short list.

Let’s talk about the common problems you’ll face — especially the biggest problem of all.

The Common Problems (Including the Big One)

There are some key problems to know about and take on.

If you finish your short list tasks early, you could get more from your long list … or take the rest of the day off!

If you don’t get them all done (very common), just put them back on the long list or carry them forward to tomorrow’s short list. You only need two text documents (or Google docs) to do this method.

This method solves the very very common problem of trying to do too much — it asks you to only do a few things, and really only one thing at a time. You always know what that one thing is, so there’s no overwhelming number of choices.

The biggest problem, if you’re doing this method, is feeling like you don’t want to do a task, and avoiding by going to easy tasks or distractions. This is so common that there are a thousand books written about it. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s a human trait — just notice. It’s easy to notice with this method, because you always know what you should be focused on.

When you notice yourself avoiding something hard or uncertain … the method is to turn towards it. Turn towards what you’re avoiding. Open to the discomfort, embrace it as training and growth. Bring curiosity. Do it even when you don’t feel like it.

This is the training. The simple method makes it easier. Take it on, and see what happens.

Worlds biggest self-improvement fan right here

Puzzle

If you try to tackle a big project and end up getting stuck somewhere along the way, it might mean that some steps are missing.

Imagine trying to complete a difficult, 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. Even though it has a thousand pieces, finishing the puzzle requires to complete more than a thousand steps.

You need to spend time sorting, grouping, and looking for edge pieces. You also might have to undo some parts of your work as you go along—which adds more steps, since now you need to override previous tasks that you thought had been completed.

This is all logical enough, but a) it takes time, and b) if you haven’t ever done a large puzzle before, you might get frustrated. You might give up along the way, leaving your puzzle half-finished and sitting on the kitchen table for weeks. Finally, you push the pieces back into the box, swearing off puzzles until the next family holiday gathering or global pandemic.

Maybe the root cause of puzzle neglect could be traced to the beginning: you underestimated the number of steps, as well as the amount of effort that would be required to persevere beyond the easy ones.

Two weeks ago, I asked a question in my newsletter: “Why haven’t you started?”

My theory was that a lot of people (maybe even most of us) have something that we really want to do, but we struggle with making any real progress. The more I investigate this question, the more I believe that the answer is twofold.

First, we struggle in getting started because we don’t really know what the first steps are. Often there are prerequisites, steps you have to complete before the “official” first steps, which effectively means that your list of steps is incomplete. There’s an obvious solution to problem one: we need better lists of steps.

But that’s not all! The other reason we struggle has to do with self-doubt or some other internal obstacle.

In response to my question, a lot of readers said something like this:

  • “I know what to do, I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about it for years, but I still haven’t done anything.”
  • “I failed once, so I’m afraid to try again.”

In these situations, having a better list of steps doesn’t fully solve the problem—or perhaps we could say that step one is “learn to believe in yourself.” This will require some more investigation, so I’ll let you know what I come up with.

Until then, know your steps, and have confidence in yourself. Puzzles are hard for a reason!

P.S. One more thing: in jigsaw puzzles, as well as many other challenging endeavors, some steps are harder than others. Some sections may actually be easy, and even in a hard puzzle, putting in the last few pieces is going to be a lot easier than the ones in the middle.

###

Image: Marcus

Awesome post I <3self-improvement

“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment.”

Hagakure

By Leo Babauta

If you’re in a job where you could be doing a thousand things, staying focused for most of the day can become a big problem. We want to do too much.

Today I’d like to talk about this hard problem faced by anyone doing meaningful work.

If you don’t tackle this challenge, you’ll be left feeling scattered and unfocused, overwhelmed and disconnected.

If you can take it on … you can create an experience of getting meaningful things done.

How does that sound? Let’s dive in.

Staying Focused on Meaningful Tasks

I don’t think I need to go too much into the problem of feeling scattered and unfocused during the day — most of us are pretty damn familiar with that.

So how do we tackle it?

The method is fairly simple, though of course it’s so easy to be led astray from it (I lose this thread all the time). I’ve been advocating this for almost 14 years now:

  1. Make a short list. I recommend 3-5 important, meaningful tasks. And then a few more smaller tasks you’ll take on later in the day when you don’t have as much focus power. These are the tasks you’ll take on today (ideally make the list the evening before).
  2. Order the list, and pick the top one. If you spend time the evening before, or just a few minutes first thing in the morning, prioritizing your short list … you won’t have to think about it when the time comes to execute. This is really important. Don’t let yourself negotiate — pick the top thing on your list and don’t question it at execution time.
  3. Execute your ass off on this one thing. Focus on this and nothing else. Close off distractions. Don’t worry about everything else that needs to be done. This is the only thing in the universe. If you get interrupted, take care of the interruption (or put it on your list for later), and then get back to focusing. Pour yourself into it, with as much meaning as you can (more on this below).
  4. Repeat. When you’re done with the task or can’t work on it because you’re waiting on something, pick the next one on the list. When you don’t have focus power anymore (late afternoon for me), take care of the smaller, easy tasks that need to get done.

I keep one long list of tasks that I need (or would like) to do sometime (my backlog), and pick from that each day.

It’s important to keep the list short — you don’t want to have everything you could possibly do on the short list.

Let’s talk about the common problems you’ll face — especially the biggest problem of all.

The Common Problems (Including the Big One)

There are some key problems to know about and take on.

If you finish your short list tasks early, you could get more from your long list … or take the rest of the day off!

If you don’t get them all done (very common), just put them back on the long list or carry them forward to tomorrow’s short list. You only need two text documents (or Google docs) to do this method.

This method solves the very very common problem of trying to do too much — it asks you to only do a few things, and really only one thing at a time. You always know what that one thing is, so there’s no overwhelming number of choices.

The biggest problem, if you’re doing this method, is feeling like you don’t want to do a task, and avoiding by going to easy tasks or distractions. This is so common that there are a thousand books written about it. Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s a human trait — just notice. It’s easy to notice with this method, because you always know what you should be focused on.

When you notice yourself avoiding something hard or uncertain … the method is to turn towards it. Turn towards what you’re avoiding. Open to the discomfort, embrace it as training and growth. Bring curiosity. Do it even when you don’t feel like it.

This is the training. The simple method makes it easier. Take it on, and see what happens.