Here’s a helpful filter to know when to worry: does something sound too good to be true, or does it sound so bad that people give up and stop thinking for themselves?
Either way, when everyone around you agrees, it’s worth asking some questions. Questions like: “What’s really going on here—and who is threatened by disagreement?”
Consider it an opportunity! When it comes to Coronavirus life, an astounding amount of groupthink is currently taking place. It’s as though everyone is taking the collective temperature (no pun intended…) before deciding what they believe and how they should act.
To be clear, I’ve said several times that the most important thing we can do is keep people safe. And as an introvert who frequently spends twenty-four hours a day by myself, I’ve also been social distancing for most of my life. (“Social distancing is the new silent retreat.”)
But whether it’s COVID-thinking or something else, if you can’t find someone who disagrees with you, someone who has another perspective—it’s time to worry. Or at the very least it’s time to widen your circle, read different media, and consider opposing viewpoints.
Otherwise, you’ll never have the chance to experience the courage of changing your mind.
Speaking up as the only dissenter in the group requires bravery, but so does acknowledging that you might not be right about everything. Are you courageous enough to do so? Most people aren’t.
Fortunately, you aren’t most people … right? You are an original—so think for yourself, and don’t accept what you’re told without closely examining it.
One more thing: have you ever heard “You must learn the rules before you break them”? This is a classic gatekeeping strategy.
Just imagine: If you’re trying to break out of prison, you don’t need to spend forty years becoming a model prisoner before you hide in a laundry cart. You’ll be much better served by studying up on successful prison breaks.
Wherever you are in the world, I hope you’re taking care of yourself and working on something you believe in. The rest of us need you to keep going.
Friendship is powerful. And it’s complicated — which makes a close friendship like Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman’s truly extraordinary.
As the co-hosts of the wildly popular podcast, Call Your Girlfriend, hundreds of thousands of listeners tune in each week to hear these two friends chat about everything from books to politics. Aminatou and Ann as are passionate and thoughtful as they come — even if it means disagreeing with each other on air.
Team Forleo and I have been fans of theirs for a long time so, when I heard they had a new book coming out, I had to get them on The Marie Forleo Podcast.
“Friendship is a really complex relationship that brings out the best and worst in everyone.” @aminatou & @annfriedman
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Today you’ll hear Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman talk about their phenomenal new book, Big Friendship. It’s a deep dive into how to stay close, especially when friendship gets messy.
As Aminatou says, “Friendship is a really complex relationship that brings out the best and worst in everyone.”
If distance or disagreements have ever threatened to end one of your close friendships, then this episode is a must-listen.
Tune in to learn:
4:15— The Gossip Girl meet cute that ignited a life-long friendship.
12:16 — What to know *before* you start a podcast.
18:20 — How to create consistent content without burning out.
24:00 — Their Shine Theory philosophy that keeps toxicity out of friendship.
29:14 — How to address conflict or disconnect in a friendship.
38:30 — How white people can get better at talking about race.
47:38 — The beautiful and messy process that goes into co-writing a book like Big Friendship.
Aminatou and Ann don’t hold back! Hit play now or download from wherever you listen to podcasts.
Now, Aminatou, Ann, and I would love to hear from you.
Which part of our conversation resonated most and why? What can you do to turn that insight into action now?
Leave a comment below and let us know. Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and motivation, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.
Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.
Never underestimate the power of filling your life with compassionate, supportive people. If you’re looking for a new friendship mantra, here’s an excellent one from Aminatou and Ann: “I don’t shine if you don’t shine.”
With enormous love,
The post How to Do Big, Messy Friendship with Aminatou Sow & Ann Friedman appeared first on .
I haven’t been taking the time to do nothing lately. Even though the world has given me plenty of time to slow down, I’ve been stuck in a go-go-go mentality.
In our society, we’re taught that if we’re not being productive, we’re being lazy. This fear of laziness can affect our mindset towards relaxation without us even noticing it.
But if you don’t give yourself time to decompress, you’re more prone to burnout. The problem with burnout is that it negatively affects your creativity, motivation, and mindset – the things you need to do good work in the first place.
In this post, I’m sharing the negative side of the hustle mentality and practical tips to help you slow down without guilt.
What Is Hustle Mode?
Defining Hustle Mode
Justin Anderson defines hustle culture as “the belief that one must spend every waking moment fully exerting themselves to become successful.” If we’re not doing something…ANYTHING, we start to feel like we’re being lazy.
I’ve always tried to juggle a million things at once. Back in 2016, I was working a full-time job, getting my master’s degree, and blogging on the side. More recently in the past two years, I was trying to juggle my own business, contract work, and coaching a dance team.
There was a point when it all became too much. I thrive with variety in my work life, but not THAT much variety. I felt like I was constantly in hustle mode up until very recently.
At least in the U.S. where I live, there’s a huge emphasis on the hustle culture. I was talking to my friend recently who said her coworkers will email her at 10 pm. I remember one of my old coworkers used to send emails at 2 am.
Hustle culture is definitely romanticized. We hear stories of people grinding late at night until their hard work finally pays off. We think we need to do the same and use it as inspiration, even when we’re struggling.
I’m all for creative energy, and I recognize that it comes in waves. Sometimes I stay up late doing work because I’m inspired, but it’s not part of my routine.
It’s rare to hear a success story that involves a solid balance between work and personal life. Instead of trying to mimic everyone else’s hustle, I think it’s important to try and achieve better levels of balance. I’d like to believe it’s possible to be successful without hustling yourself to the ground.
The Problem with Hustle Mode
Burnout is real and it affects your creativity, motivation, and mindset. If you’re in hustle mode, you might be making things more stressful for yourself because your mind is constantly in a state of overwhelm.
Hustle mode doesn’t give you much time for self-reflection or the opportunity to learn and implement new things.
There’s also the issue of feeling pressured to stay busy because other people are telling you to. Just because you have free time doesn’t mean you need to fill it to the brim with activities. There is beauty in slowing down and doing nothing.
During quarantine, you might have felt pressure to take on new hobbies and learn new skills. If you feel inclined to do that, that’s great. But if you feel called to relax, that’s what you should do.
I like what D’Shonda Brown said in this article: “I see classes, seminars and webinars galore about how to “properly” use your time during quarantine and how to keep yourself busy and productive. Truth be told, I think that’s the issue. We shouldn’t feel like we have to do something just because we can.”
Do you need to slow down?
One way to know that you’re stuck in hustle mode is if you feel useless when you’re not doing something. Do you feel guilty if you take a break or don’t get your to-do list done?
If you want to figure out if you’re overworking yourself, click here to find out if you might be dealing with burnout.
5 Tips To Pause and Slow Down
How do you counteract hustle mode? Here are some tips that have helped me to slow down:
1. Notice when you’re inspired by hustle culture
When you’re scrolling through Instagram or reading books for personal growth, notice if you feel inspired by someone’s hustle. It’s obviously not a bad thing to be inspired by other people working hard. But you also need to be smart about your strategy. It’s important to do things with intention, not just because you think they should be on your to-do list. Think about ways you could find a better balance between action and relaxation.
2. Check yourself when you think “I need to do more”
Where does this thought come from? Are you trying to prove something to someone? Realize that you don’t need to do EVERYTHING. You’re already doing enough. If you can train your mind to stop thinking you need to do more, you won’t feel as overwhelmed.
3. Adjust your daily routines
Create space in your day that separates your workday from personal time. Do something for yourself in the morning before jumping into emails first thing. At the end of the day, do something that signals it’s time to let go of work (take a bath, go for a walk, etc) and try not to do any work after that.
Related Post: How To Create A Daily Self-Care Routine
4. Schedule in blank time
Add a blank timeblock to your schedule at least once a week (better yet, once a day). You don’t have to include any particular tasks or plan it out to a T. Block it off and know that it’s your time to spend doing anything but work. Something that’s been helping me is taking a weekly tech detox every Sunday. On these days, I no longer check emails or do anything work-related, which has given me some much-needed balance in my life.
5. Journal it out
To better understand your relationship with hustle mode, you may need to dig deeper into your mindset around self-worth and productivity. Here are some journal prompts to write about:
- What about being productive makes you feel good? How do you feel if you’re not being productive?
- Who inspires you in the business/work world? What type of lifestyle do they lead?
- What would your ideal work-life balance look like?
- Do you feel like you need to DO something to be worthy? How are you worthy outside of work? How are you valuable in this world beyond your work?
New to journaling? Guide my Master Your Mindset Journaling Guide.
Do you have the hustle mentality? What needs to change so you can slow down?
I hope this post has encouraged you to step away from the hustle mentality or at least try to find a balance between being productive and letting yourself relax. Let me know in the comments if you can relate!