Cool so much this is really good more on mindset please

Puzzle

If you try to tackle a big project and end up getting stuck somewhere along the way, it might mean that some steps are missing.

Imagine trying to complete a difficult, 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle. Even though it has a thousand pieces, finishing the puzzle requires to complete more than a thousand steps.

You need to spend time sorting, grouping, and looking for edge pieces. You also might have to undo some parts of your work as you go along—which adds more steps, since now you need to override previous tasks that you thought had been completed.

This is all logical enough, but a) it takes time, and b) if you haven’t ever done a large puzzle before, you might get frustrated. You might give up along the way, leaving your puzzle half-finished and sitting on the kitchen table for weeks. Finally, you push the pieces back into the box, swearing off puzzles until the next family holiday gathering or global pandemic.

Maybe the root cause of puzzle neglect could be traced to the beginning: you underestimated the number of steps, as well as the amount of effort that would be required to persevere beyond the easy ones.

Two weeks ago, I asked a question in my newsletter: “Why haven’t you started?”

My theory was that a lot of people (maybe even most of us) have something that we really want to do, but we struggle with making any real progress. The more I investigate this question, the more I believe that the answer is twofold.

First, we struggle in getting started because we don’t really know what the first steps are. Often there are prerequisites, steps you have to complete before the “official” first steps, which effectively means that your list of steps is incomplete. There’s an obvious solution to problem one: we need better lists of steps.

But that’s not all! The other reason we struggle has to do with self-doubt or some other internal obstacle.

In response to my question, a lot of readers said something like this:

  • “I know what to do, I just can’t bring myself to do it.”
  • “I’ve been thinking about it for years, but I still haven’t done anything.”
  • “I failed once, so I’m afraid to try again.”

In these situations, having a better list of steps doesn’t fully solve the problem—or perhaps we could say that step one is “learn to believe in yourself.” This will require some more investigation, so I’ll let you know what I come up with.

Until then, know your steps, and have confidence in yourself. Puzzles are hard for a reason!

P.S. One more thing: in jigsaw puzzles, as well as many other challenging endeavors, some steps are harder than others. Some sections may actually be easy, and even in a hard puzzle, putting in the last few pieces is going to be a lot easier than the ones in the middle.

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Image: Marcus

Amazing

By Leo Babauta

The clients I work with almost all put incredible expectations on themselves — they have higher standards than almost anybody I know. It’s why they work with me.

It can be hard to see, but the expectations they’ve set for themselves often stand in the way of what they want the most.

It’s hard to see, because they became successful because of those expectations. It’s what got them this far.

But after a certain point, the expectations become the anchor, not the engine.

The breakthrough to the next level for many of us who perform at high levels — and actually for people of all kinds — is to let go of all expectations.

Tony Robbins is famous for saying, “Turn your expectations … into appreciation.” It’s a beautiful saying, and helps us to start to see where expectations are getting in the way.

Let’s take a look.

Expectations Often Only Seem to Help

I know lots of people who improved their lives because they had an expectation that they should be better.

“I should be in better shape. I should have a better job. I should be more productive. I should be more discipined. I should be more mindful. I should eat healthier.”

I know these expectations well — that was me at the start of my journey. It’s how almost all of us start out.

We take these expectations and turn them into action. “OK, it’s finally time to get off my butt and do something about this problem!”

And that’s when change starts to happen — when we’ve motivated ourselves to start.

So expectations can seem like they’re doing a lot of work, because they’re the things that got us to start.

But then they start getting in the way:

  • I expected to be great at this habit after a few days, but a week into it and I still suck at it
  • I expected to be perfect at this habit but I’m still struggling
  • I expected to keep my streak going past 2 weeks but then I missed a day
  • I expected to really enjoy yoga or meditation but it’s way harder than I thought
  • This doesn’t meet my expectations, so it sucks (can’t appreciate it)
  • I’m so focused on how I want things to turn out (expectations) that I miss the beauty of what’s happening in this moment

And so on.

The expectations actually hold us back from the simplicity of discipline.

The Simplicity of Discipline

The things we want to be disciplined at are actually fairly simple in a lot of ways.

We want to be consistent with the journaling habit, or meditation, or exercise? Just start, as simply as possible. Do that again the next day. If you miss a day, no problem — just start again. Over and over.

All of the problems of habits start to go away when we drop expectations. We can start to appreciate doing the habit, in this moment, instead of being so concerned with how it will turn out in the future.

It’s very simple, when we drop the expectations.

A daily writing habit becomes as simple as picking up the writing tool and doing it, without any expectation that it be any good or that people love it.

A daily exercise habit becomes as simple as putting your shoes on, going outside, and going for a walk or a run or a hike or a bodyweight workout. You don’t need fancy equipment, the perfect program, or a membership to anything. You just start moving, as simply as possible.

Of course, we have all kinds of hangups when it comes to exercise, or writing, or eating. These come from years of beating ourselves up (or getting judged by others, and internalizing those judgments). We can stop beating ourselves up the moment we drop expectations. Then, without the layers of self-judgment, we can simply get moving.

Every time we “fail” at a habit, we get discouraged. Because of expectations. What if we dropped any expectation that we be perfect at it, and just return to doing the habit at the earliest opportunity? Over and over again.

It all becomes exceedingly simple, once we can drop expectations. And if we become fully present, it can even be joyful! The joy of being in the moment, doing something meaningful.

Dropping the Expectations

So simple right? Now we just have to figure out how to drop those pesky expectations.

Here’s the thing: it turns out the human mind is a powerful expectations generator. Like all the time, it’s creating expectations. Just willy nilly, without any real grounding in reality. Out of thin air.

So do we just turn off the expectations machine? Good luck. I’ve never seen anyone do that. In fact, the hope that we can just turn off the expectations is in itself an expectation.

The practice is to just notice the expectations. Bring a gentle awareness to them. Just say, “Aha! I see you, Expectation. I know you’re the reason I’m feeling discouraged, overwhelmed, behind, frustrated, inadequate.”

And it’s true, isn’t it? We feel inadequate because we have some expectation that we be more than this. We feel behind because of some made up expectations of what we should have done already. We feel discouraged because we haven’t met some expectation. We feel overwhelmed because we have an expectation that we should be able to handle all of this easily and at once. We feel frustrated because someone (us, or someone else) has failed to meet an expectation.

All of these feelings are clear-cut signs that we have an expectation. And we can simply bring awareness to the expectation.

Then we’re in a place of choice. Do I want to hold myself and everything else to this made-up ideal? Or can I let go of that and simply see things as they are? Simply do the next step.

Seeing things as they are, without expectations, is seeing the bare experience, the actual physical reality of things, without all of the ideals and fantasies and frustrations we layer on top of reality.

This means that when we miss a day, we don’t have to get caught up in thoughts about how that sucks — we just look at the moment we’re in, and sit down on the meditation cushion. Break out the writing pad. Do the next thing, with clear eyes.

So in this place of choice, we can decide whether we want to stay in this fantasy world of expectations … or drop out of it into the world as it is. Which is wide open. Ready for us to go do the next thing.

That’s the choice we can make, every time, if we are aware of our expectations in the moment.

Two Simple Discipline Practices

Let’s talk briefly about two practices: the discipline of doing work, and the discipline of sticking consistently to a habit.

Discipline of Doing Work: So let’s say you have a task list, with 5 important tasks, and 10 smaller ones (including respond to Tanya’s email, buy a replacement faucet for the kitchen sink, etc.).

What would stand in the way of doing all of that? Not being clear on what to do first (or the expectation that you pick the “right” task), feeling resistance to doing it (expectation that work be comfortable), worried about how it will turn out (expectation that people think you’re awesome), stressed about all the things you have to do today (expectation that you have a calm, orderly, simple day), wanting to run to your favorite distractions (expectation that things be easy).

So noticing these difficulties caused by expectations … you can decide if you want to be in this place of expectations, or if you’d like to drop them and just be in the moment as it is.

Then you do the simple discipline of work:

  1. Pick one task. Whatever feels important right now. Let go of expectations that it be the right task.
  2. Put everything else aside — other tasks, distractions. Let go of the expectation that you do everything right now, and that what you do should be easy and comfortable.
  3. Do the task. Be in the moment with it. Let go of expectations of comfort, or expectations that you succeed at this and that others not judge you. Just do. Find the joy of doing.
  4. Stay with it as long as you can. If you get interrupted, simply come back.
  5. When you’re done, or it’s time to move on, pick something else. Let go of expectations that you have everything done right away, and just pick one thing to do next.

And repeat.

It’s important to make a distinction — between letting go of the expectation that you not be tired, and overworking yourself. We are not advocating overworking yourself to burnout. But that doesn’t mean we should never do anything when we’re not feeling it. We have to let go of the expectation that we not be tired when we work … and also the expectation that we never stop working. Rest when you need it, but don’t let yourself off the hook just because you don’t feel like it.

Discipline of Consistent Habits: Let’s say you want to get more consistent with habits. You pick one — journaling, for example.

What would get in the way of consistency with this habit? Not making space for it in your day (expecting things to come easy without fully committing to it), not enjoying the habit (expecting things to be comfortable and fun), not doing as well as you hoped and getting discouraged (expectations that you’ll be great at it), missing some days and getting discouraged (expectation that you be perfectly consistent), resisting doing it when you have other things to do (expectation that you don’t have to sacrifice something you want to do this habit).

So noticing these difficulties caused by expectations … you can decide if you want to be in this place of expectations, or if you’d like to drop them and just be in the moment as it is.

Then you do the simple discipline of this habit:

  1. Carve out space. Commit yourself to doing this habit in that space.
  2. Do the habit. Notice if you’re feeling resistance, and just do it.
  3. You might even appreciate the habit as you do it, if you let go of how you think it should be. You might find the joy of doing it as well.
  4. Do it the next day, and the next day.
  5. If you miss a day, simply start again, letting go of expectations about yourself.

If you’re struggling with feeling tired and not wanting to do something, this is because of an expectation that you not be tired, and not have to do things when you don’t feel like it. Letting go of that, you can simply do the task or habit.

You’ll notice that none of this says that doing the task or habit will be easy, comfortable, or without fear or tiredness or uncertainty. That would be an expectation. In fact, there’s a good chance that these will be present for you in the moment, as you do the task or habit. That’s OK — we’re not going to expect it to be any different than it is.

So then, letting go of that, we simply turn to what’s in the moment, and get on with it.

I always love anything related to self-improvement

How do you feel about Mondays? Do you dread them because they feel hectic? Do you pine after Sunday, feeling like you never truly had time to rest? Sunday should feel like the most replenishing day of the week, but often it escapes us and goes by too quickly.

Having a solid Sunday routine sets you up for a successful week. Here’s some inspiration for a relaxing yet productive Sunday routine!

If you can relate, try giving your Sunday routine a makeover. The best way to start a new week on the right foot begins with the actions you take on the Sunday beforehand. You can use Sundays to relax and prepare for the week ahead so you feel refreshed and clear-minded come Monday morning.

In this post, I’m sharing a look at my Sunday routine which includes some planning, meal prepping, and downtime away from social media and work. If you’re in need of some inspiration for a relaxing yet productive Sunday routine, I hope this post helps!

A Relaxing & Productive Sunday Routine


One of the most important factors of my Sunday routine is that I stay away from social media, my inbox, and computer screens. I set downtime for social media apps on my phone all day so I’m not tempted to check them.

Read this post if you want to learn where this idea came from: Digital Detox: What I’ve Learned From Unplugging Once A Week

At this point, it’s ingrained into my routine to avoid social media so I don’t feel tempted to check it on Sundays. In fact, I look forward to not going on it every week. This has definitely improved my mindset and attitude towards Mondays and has helped to get rid of those Sunday scaries.

Here are the 7 things I do to relax, prepare for the week, and clear my headspace on Sundays:

Morning


Wake up without an alarm

I realize not everyone can do this, but it makes Sundays feel a little more special when you don’t have to worry about what time you have to wake up.


Laundry

I always wash the bed sheets on a Sunday because there’s nothing quite as satisfying as climbing into a fresh bed on a Sunday night. I usually do this as soon as I get out of bed in the morning to make sure I don’t sneakily try to climb back in.


Clean

I try to clean my apartment in under an hour because cleaning is not something I love doing. This includes cleaning the countertops (bathrooms, kitchen, living room) and vacuuming. Recently I did this on a Saturday night so that I wouldn’t have to do it on a Sunday (I know, exciting Saturday plans).

Afternoon


Meal Prep

Cooking is the last thing I want to do at the end of a weekday, so meal prepping has made my life a lot easier throughout the week. There are a few things I tend to eat each week no matter what, so I pretty much always cook them ahead of time on Sundays. 

I’ll dice up sweet potatoes and lay them on a baking sheet, then whip up some easy protein muffins and throw them both in the oven at the same time. I’ll also cook a batch of rice to eat for lunches or dinners throughout the week. If I bought veggies and fruits (I usually grocery shop on a Saturday), I’ll wash and chop those ahead of time. I also like to make at least one full meal ahead of time, so usually that’s turkey chili, chickpea curry, or lentil tortilla soup.


Read

Since I stay away from social media and my laptop, I try to spend a good chunk of the day absorbed in a book. I’ve read more than I have in a long time since I started this Sunday routine. If you want to know what I’ve been reading lately, feel free to follow me on Goodreads.

Evening


Review Goals

I like to review my big picture goals before the start of the week. This is especially helpful when it comes to planning my weekly schedule and making sure I’m being intentional with my time. If it’s a goal that’s easily measured (i.e. pay off x amount of debt), I’ll update my progress to see if I’m on track or need to make improvements.

📝 Get a Free Goal Planning Worksheet here.


Plan My Weekly Schedule

When it comes to planning my week, I start with a big ol’ brain dump to get any ideas and random thoughts out of my head. Learn how to do a brain dump here

Once I have that list, I’ll decide what’s worth scheduling for that week. I’ll also plan these things into my week:

  • Schedule Workouts
  • Plan Dinners
  • Add to-do tasks to Asana and assign due dates
  • Timeblock my schedule for Monday in Google Calendar

What does your Sunday routine look like?

There you have it! I hope you found some inspiration from my Sunday routine. If you want more ideas for how to use your Sunday to the fullest, check out this post: 20 Productive Things To Do On A Sunday.

The post My Sunday Routine | How I Prep for the Week appeared first on The Blissful Mind.

Cool so much really good

“You’re not what a real artist looks like.”

When Mally Roncal heard these words, she had a choice: to be like everyone else in her industry or stay true to herself. Spoiler alert — she chose the latter. 

As you’ll hear from today’s interview, Mally has made one gutsy decision after another. Decisions that looked risky but are the reason she’s one of the world’s most sought after makeup artists.

She’s worked with celebrities like Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez, Celine Dion, and RuPaul. She’s also the creator of Mally Beauty, a makeup line that’s sold over 1.6 million eyeshadow kits on QVC, and author of the inspiring book Love, Lashes, and Lipstick: My Secrets for a Gorgeous, Happy Life.


I will no longer allow myself to be around people that make me feel bad about who I am. @MallyRoncal
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Talking to Mally felt like a breath of fresh air. You could say we’re both a little “extra” — and neither of us plan on stopping anytime soon.

If you’ve ever worried that you’re too loud, too quiet, too weird, or too anything, this is a must-watch or must-listen. You’ll be reminded that the most important ingredient to anything you do is quite simply… YOU. 

Hit play to watch below, or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

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DIVE DEEPER: Learn how to stay true to yourself and how to build an unforgettable (& unapologetic) brand.

Now Mally and I would love to hear from you. Did you experience any ‘aha’ moments from this conversation? What was your biggest insight and how can you turn that insight into action starting today? 

Leave a comment below and let us know. Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. Thousands of incredible souls come here each week for insight and motivation, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.

Important: share your thoughts and ideas directly in the comments. Links to other posts, videos, etc. will be removed.

Remember, you’re a one-time mega event in the universe. Don’t waste it. Or as Mally says, “Be you and you’ll win every time.”

With enormous love,

XO

The post From Beyoncé to QVC: How Mally Roncal Built A Makeup Empire appeared first on .