Nice post thanks I love mindset

How many different ways are there to say, “Have a good evening”?  Since your choice of words and overall message depend on the nature of your relationship, you’ve probably already found hundreds of ways to say it.  But sometimes, when the day you’ve had makes it harder to come up with the right words, it …

Read MoreThe Most Perfect Good Evening Messages And Quotes For The Ones You Love

The post The Most Perfect Good Evening Messages And Quotes For The Ones You Love appeared first on Live Bold and Bloom.

Who else? <3method ?

A common TV trope features someone who’s down on their luck and forced to borrow from someone with questionable moral scruples: a loan shark, the Mafia, a representative from Wells Fargo.

As fate would have it, they fall further and further behind, until they’re in an even greater bind. Soon they’re being pursued by the loan shark, who threatens to break their legs, or by Wells Fargo, which forces them to remain on hold for hours. The rest of the story unfolds as the protagonist desperately tries to resolve their dilemma. What will they do? How will they get the money? 

“Getting the money” makes for a good plot foundation, since money is something that everyone wants. And when you don’t have it, it becomes all that you think about.

But what if you didn’t have to “get the money”? What if you just decided to not care?

I started thinking about this after I paid too much for something recently. I didn’t negotiate well, and it bothered me for a day or two. Why did I do that? I thought later. I should know better.

I felt bad, I realized, because that’s how I’m conditioned to feel. The psychological principle of loss aversion holds that we are irrationally afraid of losing. We would rather give up the chance to win big than deal with the likelihood of small losses.

“Irrationally afraid” is the key point, especially when it comes to money. Most of the time, there’s no loan shark threatening to break your legs. When you make a mistake and lose money, you simply have … less money. Fretting over it isn’t going to help. Not only that, but the more time you spend fretting, the less time you have at your disposal to make new money or otherwise just live your life.

Even if it’s a relatively large amount of money you’ve lost due to some mistake, the problem is still temporary. There are only two possible outcomes: you’ll either get the money back (somehow) or you won’t.

I was talking with my friend Amanda after I made the mistake, and she said I shouldn’t worry. Specifically, she said this:

“The thing about money mistakes is that you can always get more money.”

I realized she was right: paying too much was a mistake, but not one that will make much of a difference years from now. This is true of most mistakes that have to do with money: unlike other kinds of mistakes, money mistakes rarely have permanent consequences.

A protagonist who worries about money mistakes can make for good TV, but it’s a bad way to live the life in which you’re the protagonist.

Life is about deciding what to pay attention to. You pay attention to what’s important to you, in both positive and negative ways.

Part of paying attention is choosing what to worry about, and money is one of the most common worries. We know that rich people worry as much about money as poor people do, so merely “getting rich” doesn’t solve money problems (though, to be fair, most people who are poor would love to experience being rich for a while in order to make up their own minds).

This is not like saying “being poor is better than being rich” or even “money is not worth thinking about.” Instead, it means money is worth thinking about on a higher plane of thought.

(For example: What IS money, actually? In short, it’s something that at least two people or institutions agree is worth something else. This is true whether it’s cash, cowry shells, or cryptocurrency.)

***

When you feel stressed about money because of decisions you’ve made, maybe you should consider the all-important question: “What’s the worst that can happen?” Most of the time, you realize a) the worst-case scenario isn’t that bad, and/or b) this scenario isn’t likely to occur.

As I reflected on my recent money mistake, I thought back on times in my life when I had less money, before I learned to feel rich at the W Hong Kong breakfast buffet. The same truth applied even then, whether I recognized it or not. Sometimes I did recognize it, and sometimes I missed it.

I recognized it when I decided to invest much of my savings and future earnings in my quest to visit every country in the world. I still remember some of the negative comments my guest posts on personal finance blogs attracted back then. Clearly, accepting the challenge of “going everywhere” was a wonderful decision! I would do it all again tomorrow.

In fact, I justified my choice at the time by saying that it didn’t cost all that much, relatively speaking. Now I think: well, that’s true, but also not really the point. Even if it had cost much more, it was still a wonderful decision that I would do it all over tomorrow.

Back to the thesis: most mistakes that involve money are temporary; they do not have long-lasting consequences.

  • If you find that you’ve been spending too much, you can learn to save
  • If you’re in debt, you can learn how to get out of it
  • If your income is low, you can focus on increasing it

Millions of people have done each of these things, so surely you can, too.

Perhaps most of all, however, you can decide to worry less about all of these things. Money causes great stress and worry, and not only among those who are truly poor. Yet it’s all for something temporary!

What would happen if you turned your attention to more important matters?

###

Image 1: Vitaly Taranov
Image 2: Tim J

loving the page

By Leo Babauta

Let’s say you want to be more disciplined about your day … you might tell yourself, “I’m going to wake every morning, meditate for 15 minutes, plan my Most Important Tasks, and then get started and follow the plan. No doubts about it.”

And then your plan gets hit by distraction or interruption, and you feel bad about it.

You try again the next day, start out well, but then at some point, you get off track and feel discouraged.

Three days into this attempt, and you feel like you are completely undisciplined, and you give up the effort.

What went wrong?

The problem is that the plan was set up to fail at some point, and then you’d feel failure, feel bad about it, feel discouraged. You might be able to withstand this discouragement and negative feedback for a little while, but no one withstands it forever.

Negative feedback loops will cause us to not do the activity.

Positive feedback loops will cause us to stay with it for much longer.

Think about the design of your plan to change your behavior: is it designed to give you positive feedback or negative feedback? Most people ignore this component entirely.

What Positive Feedback Looks Like

What we want is to design a plan that gives us some kind of reward or positive feeling, some kind of encouragement. And we want it to give us this encouragement regularly.

Some examples of positive feedback:

  • I do the habit and get a check mark and a ding! from my habit app
  • I exercise and get to tell my friends about it
  • I successfully complete a language lesson and feel a sense of accomplishment
  • I have a coach who gives me encouragement
  • I get a positive grade for a quiz
  • I feel gratitude towards myself for meditating
  • I get a high five from my friend after our hard run together
  • My team gets praise for our accomplishment in the company
  • I check off something from my task list

Notice also that many of these examples will have negative feedback built into them as well: I get a bad grade, my habit app streak ends, I feel embarrassed that my friends know I haven’t exercised for a week, my task list is neverending and makes me feel overwhelmed, my coach might criticize what I did today, I forgot to do the language lesson and feel bad about it.

So if most systems have both positive and negative feedback built in … what can we do?

We have to design a better system.

A More Positive Design

We need a system that will always encourage us to go in the right direction.

When we go in the right direction, we feel accomplishment!

When we go in the wrong direction, we get encouraged to turn it around.

A key principle: There is zero wrongness and judgment associated with this — when we judge ourselves or beat ourselves up, it’s discouragement or negative feedback. Instead, we never make ourselves wrong. We always have compassion.

Here’s an example … let’s say I want to write every day. I might design a plan like this:

  • I only have to write 1 sentence a day for the first 3 days. It’s so easy I can’t say no. I am practically guaranteed success.
  • After I write my 1 sentence for the day, I acknowledge myself for the effort and give myself gratitude for showing up and practicing.
  • When that becomes super easy, I change it to 2 sentences a day. If I feel like writing more, I can. Same thing: acknowledgement and gratitude.
  • I focus on small victories — encourage myself for any possible positive action! I am also encouraged to share any victory at all with others who might be encouraging (like my Sea Change Program or Fearless Training Program).
  • If I get off track — my plan is to catch myself after a “slip-up” and give myself compassion for whatever resistance or discouragement I felt (compassion is a kind feeling), and then to pick a small victory to get the next day (any possible small victory will do, maybe just opening my doc and writing one word). I can acknowledge myself and give myself gratitude for catching this and choosing a small victory to aim for. Find something to learn, and get back on track.

This system is designed to give my encouragement no matter what. Victories, gratitude, acknowledgement, learning, practicing getting back on track.

Principles of Positive Feedback Design

As you can see above, there are some simple principles we can incorporate into our design:

  1. Try to not make yourself wrong, judge yourself, discourage yourself. You probably will (most of us do), but catch yourself and give yourself compassion, and see if you can remove this wrong-making.
  2. Aim for small victories. As small as possible.
  3. Encourage, acknowledge, give gratitude.
  4. Scale as needed: scale up if you’re really feeling it, scale down by doing less if you’re feeling too busy or tired.
  5. Have a way to encourage yourself if you start to get off track. Compassion, learning, finding the smallest possible victory to start getting back on track.
  6. Use others for positive encouragement if it’s helpful.

I encourage you to redesign your habit changes, your attempts to get more disciplined and focused, or any kind of change you’d like to make. Encourage, encourage, encourage!

The post Positive Feedback Loops appeared first on zen habits.

More info on method please who agrees?

Her biggest fear, the unthinkable… It happened. But instead of being the nightmare she imagined, it became the answer to her prayers. You may remember hearing about her on the news. 

At 13-years-old, Bethany Hamilton lost her arm to a 14-foot tiger shark. But just four weeks later, she was back in the ocean, re-learning how to surf, and would later go on to win a national title.

In her words, “You don’t need easy, you just need possible.”

Bethany’s story has inspired millions through the blockbuster movie Soul Surfer, and the award-winning documentary, Unstoppable. (I also featured her story in Everything is Figureoutable about not letting any excuse hold you back!). I love how this Soul Surfer continues to face new fears and take on bigger waves — both in the ocean and the world.

In this MarieTV, we talk about how to overcome devastating setbacks, the power of following your fear, and why it’s never too late to follow your dreams.


The game is not to try and eliminate problems, it's actually to be strong enough to handle them. @bethanyhamilton 
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You’ll also learn:

  • How to handle an unexpected loss.
  • Why “working harder” won’t solve your problems — and what to do instead.
  • The power of owning your story (and sharing it the right way).
  • What science has to say about living a long, joyful life.
  • Why it’s never too late to restart those half-finished goals.
  • What really fuels success (spoiler: it’s NOT motivation).
  • The BIGGEST wave Bethany ever surfed — and why she craves it.

If you’re ready to brave the waves of your life with strength and grace, this episode is a must-watch. And don’t miss Bethany’s special gift to our MarieTV community below this video.

View Transcript

Check out this episode on The Marie Forleo Podcast

Listen Now

DIVE DEEPER: Learn how to be your bravest self with Brené Brown & never let fear stop you again with Koya Webb.

Bethany is a shining example of how you can overcome adversity and stay true to yourself. But, she never claimed it was easy. She braved the surf again because “My love for surfing outweighed my fear of sharks.”

If you want to find the courage to face your fears? Let your passion make you brave.

Now, let’s turn this insight into action.

Don’t overthink this — just go with your gut-level response. In the comments below, share your answers to these two questions:

  1. What is one dream or “big wave” in your life that scares you?
  2. What could you accomplish if you let your love for your dream outweigh your fear of failing?

Remember, even though our culture loves to feature high highs and low lows, most of our successes and failures will NOT be as dramatic as national surfing titles and shark attacks.

As Bethany says, “You never know when your next success will be. You can will yourself to succeed as much as you want, but a lot of times you just have to keep putting along until it happens.”

Keep going for your dreams because the world really does need that special gift that only you have.

P.S. Want more peace and less chaos in your life? Bethany Hamilton is offering a special gift to viewers of MarieTV. Learn More about Bethany’s Be Present course and use the code MARIE to sign up for free.

XO

The post From Shark Attack to Super Mom: The Bethany Hamilton Story appeared first on .

Nice info thanks a lot love mindset

The Opportunity in Adversity

By Eckhart Tolle

Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”

We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.

Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.

 From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.

 Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.

 And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.

And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.

 So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.

To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.

Join for free and receive upcoming articles, teachings, special announcements, and more.

The post The Opportunity in Adversity appeared first on Eckhart Tolle | Official Site – Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness.

I think anything about mindset are fab

The Opportunity in Adversity

By Eckhart Tolle

Life unfolds between the polarities of order and chaos. It is important at this time to recognize these two fundamental opposites, without which the world could not even be. Another word for disorder is “adversity.” When it becomes more extreme, we might call it “chaos.”

We would prefer, of course, to have order in our lives, which means to have things going well. We would like relative harmony in our lives. Yet, that very often is marred by the eruption of some form of disorder. And, usually, we resent that—we get angry, or despondent, or sad.

Disorder comes in many, many forms, big and small. When disorder comes it usually creates a kind of havoc in our lives, accompanied by strong underlying beliefs. “There’s something very wrong, this should not be happening, maybe God is against me,” and so on. Again, we need to understand that disorder, or adversity, is inevitable and is an essential part of a higher order.

 From a higher perspective, a higher level, the existence of order and disorder, or order and chaos, is a necessary part of the evolution of life.

 Many people have found that they experience a deepening, or a deeper sense of self or beingness, immediately after and as a result of having endured a period of disorder or chaos. This is sometimes called “the dark night of the soul,” a term from medieval Christianity used to describe the mental breakdown that many mystics experienced prior to awakening spiritually. There was an eruption of disorder, of destruction. Then, out of that, a deeper realization arose.

 And although that can be very painful, the strange thing is, it’s precisely there that many humans experience a transcendence. A strange fact is that it almost never happens that people awaken spiritually while they’re in their comfort zone. Or that they become deeper as human beings, which would be a partial awakening. It almost never happens. The place where the evolutionary shift happens, or the evolutionary leap, is usually the experience of disorder in a person’s life.

And so your life then moves between order and disorder. You have both, and they’re both necessary. There’s no guarantee that when disorder erupts this will bring about an awakening or a deepening, but there’s always the possibility. It is an opportunity, but often, it is missed.

 So here we are at this time, and our mission is the same: to align with the present moment, with whatever is happening here and now. The upheaval that we’re experiencing at the present time probably will not be the last upheaval that’s going to come on a collective level. However, it is an opportunity—because although this is a time for upheavals, it is also a time for awakening. The two go together. Just as in an individual life, you need adversity to awaken. It’s an opportunity but not a guarantee. And so what looks tragic and unpleasant on a conventional level is actually perfectly fine and as it should be on a higher level; it would not be happening otherwise. It’s all part of the awakening of human beings and of planetary awakening.

To learn more about Eckhart’s teachings on Conscious Manifestation, click here.

Join for free and receive upcoming articles, teachings, special announcements, and more.

The post The Opportunity in Adversity appeared first on Eckhart Tolle | Official Site – Spiritual Teachings and Tools For Personal Growth and Happiness.

Important Info !

A common TV trope features someone who’s down on their luck and forced to borrow from someone with questionable moral scruples: a loan shark, the Mafia, a representative from Wells Fargo.

As fate would have it, they fall further and further behind, until they’re in an even greater bind. Soon they’re being pursued by the loan shark, who threatens to break their legs, or by Wells Fargo, which forces them to remain on hold for hours. The rest of the story unfolds as the protagonist desperately tries to resolve their dilemma. What will they do? How will they get the money? 

“Getting the money” makes for a good plot foundation, since money is something that everyone wants. And when you don’t have it, it becomes all that you think about.

But what if you didn’t have to “get the money”? What if you just decided to not care?

I started thinking about this after I paid too much for something recently. I didn’t negotiate well, and it bothered me for a day or two. Why did I do that? I thought later. I should know better.

I felt bad, I realized, because that’s how I’m conditioned to feel. The psychological principle of loss aversion holds that we are irrationally afraid of losing. We would rather give up the chance to win big than deal with the likelihood of small losses.

“Irrationally afraid” is the key point, especially when it comes to money. Most of the time, there’s no loan shark threatening to break your legs. When you make a mistake and lose money, you simply have … less money. Fretting over it isn’t going to help. Not only that, but the more time you spend fretting, the less time you have at your disposal to make new money or otherwise just live your life.

Even if it’s a relatively large amount of money you’ve lost due to some mistake, the problem is still temporary. There are only two possible outcomes: you’ll either get the money back (somehow) or you won’t.

I was talking with my friend Amanda after I made the mistake, and she said I shouldn’t worry. Specifically, she said this:

“The thing about money mistakes is that you can always get more money.”

I realized she was right: paying too much was a mistake, but not one that will make much of a difference years from now. This is true of most mistakes that have to do with money: unlike other kinds of mistakes, money mistakes rarely have permanent consequences.

A protagonist who worries about money mistakes can make for good TV, but it’s a bad way to live the life in which you’re the protagonist.

Life is about deciding what to pay attention to. You pay attention to what’s important to you, in both positive and negative ways.

Part of paying attention is choosing what to worry about, and money is one of the most common worries. We know that rich people worry as much about money as poor people do, so merely “getting rich” doesn’t solve money problems (though, to be fair, most people who are poor would love to experience being rich for a while in order to make up their own minds).

This is not like saying “being poor is better than being rich” or even “money is not worth thinking about.” Instead, it means money is worth thinking about on a higher plane of thought.

(For example: What IS money, actually? In short, it’s something that at least two people or institutions agree is worth something else. This is true whether it’s cash, cowry shells, or cryptocurrency.)

***

When you feel stressed about money because of decisions you’ve made, maybe you should consider the all-important question: “What’s the worst that can happen?” Most of the time, you realize a) the worst-case scenario isn’t that bad, and/or b) this scenario isn’t likely to occur.

As I reflected on my recent money mistake, I thought back on times in my life when I had less money, before I learned to feel rich at the W Hong Kong breakfast buffet. The same truth applied even then, whether I recognized it or not. Sometimes I did recognize it, and sometimes I missed it.

I recognized it when I decided to invest much of my savings and future earnings in my quest to visit every country in the world. I still remember some of the negative comments my guest posts on personal finance blogs attracted back then. Clearly, accepting the challenge of “going everywhere” was a wonderful decision! I would do it all again tomorrow.

In fact, I justified my choice at the time by saying that it didn’t cost all that much, relatively speaking. Now I think: well, that’s true, but also not really the point. Even if it had cost much more, it was still a wonderful decision that I would do it all over tomorrow.

Back to the thesis: most mistakes that involve money are temporary; they do not have long-lasting consequences.

  • If you find that you’ve been spending too much, you can learn to save
  • If you’re in debt, you can learn how to get out of it
  • If your income is low, you can focus on increasing it

Millions of people have done each of these things, so surely you can, too.

Perhaps most of all, however, you can decide to worry less about all of these things. Money causes great stress and worry, and not only among those who are truly poor. Yet it’s all for something temporary!

What would happen if you turned your attention to more important matters?

###

Image 1: Vitaly Taranov
Image 2: Tim J